Table Of Contents
Dedication
I would like to dedicate this book to my mother, Billie K. Harris, who provided me with everything I needed so I could believe in myself when others doubted me, who gave me the strength to make the impossible possible, so I could create my own limitless life.
I also dedicate this book to my friend and mentor, Hans Steiner, MD, Professor Emeritus at Stanford University Department of Child and Adolescent Psychiatry. A master at his craft, to help others heal themselves and recognize the true gifts they already possessed inside themselves. Hans was a pioneer, a mover and a shaker, a true “John Henry” of his time. Our mission in life was the same, helping others go beyond what they thought was humanly possible, by pushing them beyond their limits, beyond their comfort zone, to what we could easily see inside of them. At his memorial, there were countless stories about the people he had helped in profound ways. His mission, my mission, our mission at Abbey Neuropsychology Clinic, is worthy of our life’s work. To help others discover their own true potential and reach deep inside themselves, to live life to its fullest, to become what they once thought was impossible. ONWARD AND UPWARD my friend, my mentor, my inspiration.
Introduction
Jordan was the typical class clown. All the girls in his class loved him. He could make anyone laugh. He was bright, and could talk endlessly about a variety of topics. He seemed to have useless knowledge about a thousand things. When he was interested in something, he could apply himself to it for days. At the age of 8, he taught himself to code. At the age of 10, he built his own computer and used it to mine cryptocurrency. At the age of 13, he hacked into the school’s computer lab and got himself suspended for a week. At the age of 15, he built a program to disable his parent’s alarm system from his phone so that he could sneak out of the house. Jordan could get straight A’s, or he could get all D’s. He hardly ever turned in homework. Now in his junior year of high school, he was getting an A, two Bs, two Ds, and an F, and had 37 missing assignments. His teachers implored him to try harder. His parents nagged him to just apply himself, and endless fights erupted about his lack of ambition and inability to just sit down and do his work. It began to impact Jordan’s self-esteem. He knew he was smart, but why couldn’t he just get it together?
If this sounds like your son or daughter, then this book is for you. Over the last decade, we have encountered countless children and young adults like Jordan at our clinic. Our mission is to change the lives of these children and set them on a new path by getting the correct diagnosis and so that you, as their parent, will be fully informed about what ADHD is, what it is not, and what you can do about it. ADHD doesn’t just mean you can’t pay attention. It is a debilitating neurocognitive disorder that affects children socially, emotionally, academically, and cognitively. Children like Jordan are at higher risk for depression, relationship issues, incarceration, workplace difficulties, and substance use by the time they are adults as a result of their ADHD. Our mission is to prevent those things from happening, by identifying these difficulties and helping children to overcome them before it is too late. Over the last 15+ years, we have worked tirelessly to develop treatment programs that work using your child’s own internal resources. We’ve set out to write this book so that parents will have a valuable resource in understanding their child’s ADHD and gain some insight about what to do about it. There is hope for your child. If you are feeling lost as a parent our aim is for this book to give you a starting point. We are here to help you change your child’s life.
What is ADHD
Attention-deficit/hyperactivity disorder (ADHD) is a neurodevelopmental disorder that affects both children and adults. Symptoms of ADHD include difficulty sustaining attention, impulsivity, and hyperactivity. Additionally, children and adults with ADHD experience problems in decision making, organization, time management, and interpersonal relationships. ADHD can be a difficult diagnosis for parents to understand. Every child is different and will exhibit different symptoms of ADHD. Here’s a checklist to help you determine if you should have your child evaluated for ADHD:
✔ Difficulty sustaining attention during tasks or play
✔ Excessive fidgeting or squirming
✔ Getting out of their seat in class or during meal times
✔ Talking excessively and failing to notice that people have lost interest
✔ Difficulty waiting their turn
✔ Difficulty making and keeping friends
✔ Falling behind academically
✔ Not turning in homework
✔ Their room is constantly messy
✔ Making bad decisions
✔ They consistently leave the house without one or more items they need later in the day
✔ Fighting with siblings
✔ Doing poorly on tests despite knowing the information
✔ Backpack is constantly a mess
✔ Need to call their name several times before the look up
✔ Can focus for several hours on videogames or areas of interest
✔ Constantly forgets to do chores
✔ Needs reminders to do daily routines
✔ Waits til the last minute to do assignments or projects
If you checked more than 4 of these items, your child should be evaluated by a qualified professional.
Types of ADHD
Here are some of the children whose lives we have changed through our process. They all have ADHD, but their symptoms of ADHD look very different.
Caleb is an 8 year old boy that can sit still and focus on video games for hours, but when it comes to her homework, his 10 minute assignment becomes a two hour battle. I’m often asked if it is possible that children like Caleb have ADHD even though he can focus on video games for hours. Read on to learn more.
Ellie is a 10 year old girl who is shy and doesn’t ask questions at school because she feels embarrassed. She reads fantasy books for hours, but when it comes to homework, she has a lot of trouble knowing where to start and getting it done on her own. Her dad helps her prepare for math tests, and even though she knows all the materials the night before the test, Ellie can’t have ADHD because she reads independently for hours, right? We have heard from so many parents this is what they thought for years.
ADHD Inattentive Type
There are three types of ADHD. The first is ADHD Predominantly Inattentive Type, which mainly describes a child who has significant difficulties controlling their attention. You may notice that I did not say, “cannot pay attention”. This is often misunderstood. That is, ADHD is a disorder of attentional control, not that your child cannot pay attention at all. We will discuss this more in sections that follow, but for now think about it this way. Just because your child can do their favorite activity for hours on end does not mean they don’t have ADHD. To the contrary, the difficulties sustaining attention are found in activities that they don’t find intrinsically interesting or rewarding, such as doing math homework, reading their history book, or writing a paper. It’s the repetitive tasks, the ones the “grunge work”, the tasks that require grit. Ten minutes of homework can turn into a 2 hour battle. Sound familiar?
It’s not that your child isn’t smart enough or can’t do it. The majority of our clients are described by their parents and teachers as being very bright, and we have confirmed this through IQ testing. It has to do with their ability to control their attention, and when they can’t do it for the things that aren’t intrinsically interesting or motivating, they feel dumb even though they’re smart, defeated, and worn down.
Ellie is a 10 year old girl who is shy and doesn’t ask questions at school because she feels embarrassed. She reads fantasy books for hours, but when it comes to homework, she has a lot of trouble knowing where to start and getting it done on her own. Her dad helps her prepare for math tests, and even though she knows all the materials the night before the test, Ellie can’t have ADHD because she reads independently for hours, right? We have heard from so many parents this is what they thought for years.
Children with ADHD ostensibly take a minimalist approach to homework they don’t care for, such as writing assignments, at least it seems that way. But in reality, it’s extremely difficult for them to muster the energy and stick with it, because they find these seemingly mundane tasks arduous, and getting them to write at all is similar to asking them to take a chisel to a stone tablet. It literally feels like it takes that much effort to get the words on paper for some children with ADHD. You know the words are in there, they say them all day long, but to get them to write for their homework can be grueling for them. On the other hand, you may otherwise find them writing pages and pages on their own when it comes to writing about their favorite topic, such as Pokemon, Legos, or some make-believe world they are having fun with. We will explain more later, but this can be very confusing to parents and teachers.
One caveat about ADHD Inattentive Type is that it can be easily overlooked, because although your child may be struggling to focus and pay attention, they may not be disruptive. This is especially true of children who are high to above average in intelligence, because they can compensate in other ways, like doing well on tests without studying, or writing a term paper the night before. But at some level, when the bar is raised high enough, their attentional control and executive function weaknesses become exploited. It could happen in middle school, high school, or even college. We have even seen students graduate medical school and law school before they discovered the problem because they couldn’t pass their medical board exams or the bar. There is hope; however. Even when a diagnosis is discovered this late, your child can learn how to use their own internal resources, build up their brain, and overcome their weaknesses. Of the clients who failed their medical and bar exams multiple times, 100 percent of them who completed our transformative program have passed their exams.
Children with ADHD may be accused of being lazy and not trying hard enough. This can be extremely frustrating for your child, educators, and you as parents, because it is very confusing to try to figure out how their attention can vary from, “not interested in schoolwork” to “hyper focused on video games”. “Are they not trying?” “Are they just lazy?” “If only they would try harder, put more effort into it, listen.” If you find yourself saying these things to yourself over and over, then read on, this book is for you. Every child is different, and you may see and relate to some things while others don’t fit at all. That’s the amazing thing about ADHD. A child can have some, but not all of the 18 symptoms, and so every child may look a bit different with their own strengths and weaknesses.
ADHD Impulsive/Hyperactive Type
The second type of ADHD is Predominantly Impulsive/Hyperactive. In this type of ADHD, the primary symptoms are moving around, cannot sit still, while also having trouble standing in line and waiting for their turn. You may also see your child talking over others or blurting answers without raising their hand at school. Perhaps the teacher has given you feedback about this very issue?
ADHD Impulsive/Hyperactive Type is much easier to spot by teachers, professionals, and parents, because your child may be disruptive and their difficulties controlling their behaviors often cause problems for others. For example, your child may often be talking to their peers nearby in class, and the low rumble turns into a conversation that interferes with the teacher’s lesson. The teacher may find herself talking louder and louder, and finally, once again, has to remind your child and others to stop talking and listen. This may be a constant problem that is brought to your attention during parent/teacher conferences.
In addition, children with this type of ADHD find it very difficult to sit still. They are often constantly in motion. Your child’s legs may be in motion under their desk, perhaps they are tapping a pencil or drumming a beat with their hands, or they have trouble sitting in their chair and are up out of their seat moving around. The myth is that this problem goes away over time. While it is true that children who are hyperactive appear less so as they grow older, inside they continue to have challenges controlling their behavior. They find it hard to watch an entire movie in one sitting, they “hate waiting in line”, and they may still feel jittery inside even though their bodies aren’t constantly moving.
ADHD Combined Type
The third type of ADHD is the combined type. In this type, the child has a significant amount of difficulties with both controlling their attention, as well as controlling their impulses and activity levels. This type of ADHD is also easily picked up by teachers and caregivers because often the child is disruptive in the classroom and is falling behind in school, and so their symptoms are easily noticed. Getting them to sit through an entire meal may feel impossible. They may start one project, then off to the next, with a trail of legos, games, and toys left behind them. Their backpack for school may be incredibly disorganized and their room would otherwise be a disaster unless you stay on top of them to clean it up. They may seem to be at their best when doing activities, such as soccer, dance, or basketball, because they are constantly in motion.
Now that you know the definition of ADHD, it is important to discuss what ADHD is and what it is not. First, ADHD is not a medical condition like diabetes that cannot be reversed or significantly improved without medication. Instead, it is a developmental disorder that reflects stagnation of attentional control. Stagnation means failure to keep pace with developing at the same rate as peers. So, even though their attention abilities are growing relative to themselves year after year, your child may seem 2 to 3 years behind their peers in their ability to focus, plan, and organize. You will discover that this is good news by reading this book, because there are ways to increase the pace at which your child is developing their attentional control and executive functions. So, if you can speed up their development, then it is possible to catch them up, and this means it is possible for you to provide the help your child needs to reverse their ADHD. How do we know this, because we have helped 1000s of parents reverse their child’s attention and executive function weaknesses, many of whom no longer qualify for the diagnosis, and most of whom have done better than the help they would have received from medication alone. More on this later, but this is very exciting news.
Parent Story
“I was worried my child would have the same fate that I had as a child. I felt stupid, I couldn’t read, and it was hard for me to focus on any one thing. Even when I learned to read I hated it. I had a lot of interests, but I just couldn’t seem to get anything done. I would get some As, but also Bs, Cs, and inevitably a D or two. Back then, there wasn’t a lot you could do about it. Later, I was diagnosed with ADHD and I took medication, but I hated the way it made me feel. I didn’t feel like myself, it dulled my personality and my friends felt like I wasn’t very fun like I usually was. Unfortunately, the medication would wear off by the time I had to do homework, and it didn’t help me to read. I had fallen behind so far in school that the medication never caught me up. I had many tutors and I always seemed to struggle to read and get my work done.
“I was worried about my children, and sure enough, I noticed my daughter having similar problems. So I brought her into the Abbey Clinic. The assessment revealed my worst fears, that she had ADHD and dyslexia. She completed all the treatments at the Abbey Clinic and was doing her work at grade level (3rd grade at the time). Even through remote learning due to the pandemic, she excelled, and is now doing her work above grade level. She loves to read and reads all the time. I no longer have to worry about her and I am confident that she will do well in middle school. I am also not worried she will think she is stupid like I thought about myself. She is at the head of the class and I know she feels smart, and the teachers and I do too.”
Quite frankly, this story chokes me up. This mother suffered through her childhood and was so concerned about her daughter. She is her daughter’s hero! She provided our life-changing Transformative Brain Program for her daughter, and changed her life forever! Life-changing stories like this are why we get out of bed each morning and help parents provide the help they need for their children. We are on a mission to change the world one child at a time. So this parent’s story is heartwarming and inspiring to us!
What Is A Growth Mindset And Why Is It Important For Children To Develop One
A growth mindset is the belief that intelligence and abilities can be developed through hard work, dedication, and learning. On the other hand, a fixed mindset is the belief that intelligence and abilities are static traits that cannot be changed. The idea of a growth mindset was first proposed by Carol Dweck, a professor of psychology at Stanford University. She argued that children who are praised for their intelligence are more likely to have a fixed mindset, whereas those who are praised for their effort are more likely to have a growth mindset. Fixed mindsets can have negative consequences in many areas of life. For example, individuals with a fixed mindset are more likely to give up in the face of adversity because they believe that they lack the ability to improve. They may also avoid challenging tasks because they are afraid of failing or being perceived as unintelligent. Finally, fixed mindsets can lead to poorer performance in both academic and work settings because individuals with this mindset are less likely to persist in the face of difficulty or take risks that could lead to growth. In contrast, individuals with a growth mindset view difficulties as opportunities for learning and growth. As a result, they tend to exhibit greater motivation and perseverance in the face of setbacks. They are also more likely to take on challenging tasks and embrace failure as a learning experience. Ultimately, growth mindsets provide a foundation for success in both academic and work contexts.
How Can You Help Your Child With Adhd Develop A Growth Mindset
A growth mindset leads to greater resilience in the face of setbacks and a greater willingness to take on challenging tasks. As parents, we can help our children develop a growth mindset by modeling it ourselves and encouraging our children to see mistakes as opportunities to learn. For example, instead of praising our children for getting an A on a test, we can praise their hard work and effort. Give it a try. The next time you see your child working hard on their homework, praise them with a labeled praise. A labeled praise is a praise followed by a description of what you are praising them for. You could say, “Sarah, I’m so proud of you for working so hard on your math homework and completing it on your own. I could see that you had to recalculate a problem because you skipped a step, you found that error on your own, and you really stuck with it.” Now if you do this, watch what happens. Finding your child doing something RIGHT does wondrous things. You will see that they will start doing more and more of that behavior. Why? Because they love you so much and getting this type of recognition and praise feels so AMAZING and good. You are giving them some WARM FUZZIES! When you do this, stay away from criticism no matter how tempting, just stick with the praise. In addition, you can also encourage them to persist in the face of difficulty by telling them that we believe in their ability to overcome any challenge. By instilling a growth mindset in our children, we can help them reach their full potential.
What model best fits your own perspective about your child with ADHD? Do you believe that your child can grow their brain performance through hard work, determination, and learning? If so, then you are in alignment with the perspective that we take at Abbey Neuropsychology Clinic. We strongly believe in your child’s ability to strengthen the areas of their brain that are lagging behind so they can catch up to the ones that are already optimized. You should know that with modern technology, it is possible for the first time in human history to use technology in amazing and fun ways to help your child learn ways to improve their brain performance. If you espouse a growth mindset, then you already have the first key factor to help your child develop stronger grit so they can push themselves harder and harder, thereby learning how to grow and strengthen their own brain to their full potential throughout their lifespan.
The Top 3 Things To Avoid If You Want Your Children To Have A Growth Mindset
It is important to instill a growth mindset in your child from a young age. This will allow them to develop resilience in the face of setbacks and view their ability as something that can be developed through effort. Some things you should avoid doing if you want your children to have a growth mindset include:
- Praising them for being smart instead of praising them for their hard work. This sends the message that intelligence is fixed and cannot be improved.
- Telling them that they should give up when they encounter difficulty. This sends the message that they are not capable of overcoming challenges.
- Comparing them to other children. This sends the message that their worth is based on how they compare to others instead of their own efforts and progress.
By avoiding these three things, you can help your child develop a growth mindset and set them up for success in all areas of their life.
How Can You Continue To Help Your Children Foster A Growth Mindset As They Get Older
One of the most important things you can do as a parent is to help your children develop a growth mindset. People with a growth mindset don’t believe that intelligence is fixed. The old way of thinking was that the intelligence of children was fixed by age 8 years. This is in fact not true. Parents with a growth mindset understand that they can get smarter through hard work, persistence, and when given the right tools to grow their brains. The good news for you and your child is that there has never been a better time to be alive to help your child with ADHD. There have been numerous advances in research and technology to help them overcome their ADHD. Some of them are actually free and you can do them at home. Others take advantage of the latest research in neuroscience and can be done with a cognitive skills trainer. We have seen numerous children improve their intelligence with follow-up assessments. It is amazing to see them grow and improve through their own resources and growing their brains and increasing their intelligence.
A Look At Your Child’s Future With ADHD
The future of your child who has ADHD really depends on the choices that are made. Knowledge is power, so the more you know about your child’s condition, the more you will potentially know about how to help them. Research shows that doing nothing about your child’s ADHD will make them more likely to result in many potential negative outcomes for your child. Since many of our clients come to us for an assessment for their child to determine their condition, we have a lot of experience working with families who make different choices for their child’s ADHD.
Take Action Now Before It’s Too Late!
There are at least 2 moments in time in which it may become “too late” to help your child fully overcome ADHD and its negative consequences.
Johnny knew he was late, again, and rushed to his desk as the teacher rolled his eyes and said, “I see you’re late again Johnny, you really need to get it together.” Johnny actually planned to be on time today, but he forgot his history assignment and had to run back home to get it before school. Later that day while his history teacher is collecting homework, Johnny is searching frantically for his assignment in his backpack. All he can find are crumpled up papers, so he starts looking through everything in his desk. His teacher, Mrs. Stevens, exclaims, “Oh, looks like you failed to do your assignments once again!” Johnny feels terrible, because he just realized that he was distracted by the television when he went back home to get his history homework, and forgot to put it in his backpack. Later that day, Johnny walked by a group of kids, who were laughing and snickering in his direction. He figured they were laughing at him since they were in his classes earlier and heard the teachers yelling at him. This is a typical day for Johnny. Now imagine, rinse, repeat, and repeat again. Hundreds of days turn into 1000s of negative messages, and he starts forming a very distorted, and unfortunate negative self-image.
When children have ADHD, there are many things that they do unintentionally, which results in your child being bombarded with negative messages from teachers, caregivers, and even coaches. This is because their symptoms of ADHD are invisible, and individuals who interact with your child will erroneously conclude that your child, “Isn’t trying hard enough”, is “too lazy”, or intentionally interrupts others and talks out of turn. Over time, your child will start to develop a negative self-identity, saying to themselves, “I’m not good enough”, “Maybe school just isn’t my thing”, or “I’m so stupid” even though they are very smart. At some point, this negative impression becomes an integral part of their identity, and they falsely conclude that their symptoms of ADHD define who they are. It is critical to help your child get what they need before this happens, because once this negative identity is engrained in who they are, it may be a part of them for life. Even if they overcome their ADHD, there may always be a part of them that just doesn’t feel like they measure up.
The other situation usually occurs some time during adolescence. There often is a curvilinear relationship between perceived intelligence of parents and your child’s age, such that, at younger ages, children look up to their parents as though they “know everything”. However, at some point during adolescence, many teenagers think they have it all figured out. During this time, it becomes nearly impossible for teens to cooperate and get the help they need.
Jackie was a very intelligent girl and did very well in school. That is, until she hit her junior year of high school. She started having trouble with her friends and there seemed to be a lot of “girl drama”. This was the least of her troubles. Jackie was starting to prepare her college applications while studying for the SAT. She found it difficult to balance her studies while also doing well at all her extracurricular activities. Her courses were becoming more demanding and she wasn’t able to write her papers at the last second and get good grades. She was falling behind in math and her other homework just seemed to be piling up. Over the years, parent/teacher conferences involved concerns about Jackie talking with her friends when she was supposed to be doing her schoolwork. They felt that she was constantly behind but she was very bright, so she usually was able to “pull it off.” In hindsight, her parents wished that they would have paid more attention to the signs and symptoms of her ADHD. Because when she was diagnosed, she was unwilling to accept help from her parents, teachers, or doctors. She felt she was “fine” and just wanted everyone to “leave me alone.”
A Look At The Future Of Parents Of Children With ADHD
Most people don’t realize that parents of children who have ADHD are 3 times more likely to get divorced, and the reasons for the marital discord are mainly due to the stress that is created surrounding your child’s condition. There may be arguing about how to discipline your child with ADHD. The parent who spends most of their day with the affected child is exhausted from managing their child’s behavior through constant reminders, breaking up arguments, and constantly worrying about how to help their child. Supervising simple homework assignments, going to the store for last minute school projects, helping your child keep track of their homework so it actually makes it from their backpack to turning it into the teacher. We all need to remind ourselves, parents are human, and managing an untreated child with ADHD takes its toll on everyone! Sometimes, the stress is too much, and it bleeds into our other relationships. You may find yourself with nothing leftover to offer your spouse. Your spouse may, in turn, grow tired of the lack of affection in your relationship. You may be irritable from staying on top of your child all day and lash out at your spouse for the smallest thing. For the spouse that spent all day at work, the other parent may appear grouchy and unreasonable. They may wonder just how you spent your day and why nothing seemed to get done. Why are you always in such a bad mood? However, life just doesn’t have to be this way. There are solutions, and these solutions will not only help your child, they will help you, your relationship with your spouse, your other children, and your friends.
Why Children With ADHD Fall Behind In School
Children with ADHD often fall behind in school because they have trouble focusing and paying attention. ADHD can make it difficult for children to pay attention in class, follow instructions, and complete assignments. As a result, children with ADHD often fall behind in school. In addition, ADHD can also lead to other learning disorders, such as dyslexia and dysgraphia. These disorders can further impede a child’s ability to succeed in school. Early diagnosis and intervention are essential for helping children with ADHD succeed in school. With the right support, children with ADHD can overcome these challenges and reach their full potential.
Many Children With ADHD Do Not Enjoy Reading
It is common for children with ADHD to hate reading. In part, this is because ADHD can make it difficult to focus on the task at hand. Additionally, many children with ADHD also have dyslexia, which can make reading even more challenging. As a result, these children are often at risk for falling behind in school. This problem is critical, because as most children get older, they progress from learning to read, to reading to learn. As their peers enjoy the reading process and learn from vast materials, books, and research, many children with ADHD fall significantly behind in reading skills AND their knowledge base. Acquiring knowledge through reading is like compound interest. While most children are learning from what they read, children with ADHD “blankout”. They can read an entire page while daydreaming and not even know a single word of what they just read. They may choose to move on or re-read the passage (most just keep on reading). Because of their reading challenges, children with ADHD tend to avoid reading or just skim the passages. So as other children increase their knowledge exponentially from reading, children with ADHD tend to fall further behind not only in their reading efficiency (due to lack of practice), but also in the wide range of knowledge and topics that their peers are learning. However, there are ways to help ADHD children overcome their challenges and learn to enjoy reading.
Why Math Can Be Challenging For Children With ADHD
ADHD can make math difficult for children in a number of ways. ADHD can make it hard to focus and attend to the task at hand, which can make it difficult to understand the material. ADHD can also make it hard to control impulsive behavior, which can lead to making careless errors and ignoring important details (e.g., forgetting to carry, filtering extraneous data in math/story problems etc.). In addition, ADHD can make it hard to remember steps and details, which is often a critical part of understanding and solving math problems. As a result, children with ADHD often fall behind in math and may have difficulty catching up.
Why Writing Can Be Challenging When Your Child Has ADHD
Writing also presents challenges for children with ADHD, because it emphasizes good executive functioning skills. Moreover, reading and writing skills are often correlated. For a child who reads a lot, they have a lot of solid examples and experience of what good writing looks like, numerous writing styles to use as models, and a good sense of how writing flows.
What will become of your child with ADHD. What will be in their future? Because we have worked with 1000s of children, we have seen a number of outcomes, and we can tell you what the most likely outcome is for your child depending on what you do for them over the upcoming years. We also turn to the research that clearly shows what the outcomes are depending on what is done and not done today.
8 Things Every ADHD Parent Should Know About Their ADHD Child’s Brain Misconceptions And Myths
ADHD Is Caused By Bad Parenting
Picture this. You’re in the produce section of your local Trader Joes, scrutinizing the bananas. Behind you, a little boy is running around, yelling at the top of his lungs while darting out in front of people’s carts. His harried-looking father tries to regain control of the situation, imploring him to please stop, please come back to the cart. The little boy ignores his pleas and continues careening around you and your fellow shoppers. Just then, BAM, and the little boy, not paying attention, crashes into a kumquat display, sending tiny orange globes flying across the floor. He starts howling, and by now every single person in TJ’s, including you, is thinking “that parent is a bad parent. I can’t believe they’re allowing their child to act like that in Trader Joes.” We’ve all been there. I’ve been there. The trouble is, this parent probably is an excellent parent, but the regular parenting rulebook does not apply to children with ADHD. Unfortunately, many parents of children with ADHD don’t realize that parenting their ADHD child requires a special skill set, one that is tailored to their child.
ADHD is not caused by bad parenting any more than diabetes is caused by bad parenting. ADHD is a neurobiological condition in which the development of the prefrontal cortex, the part of our brains responsible for impulse control, decision making, and emotional regulation amongst other things, develops more slowly than the rest of the brain. This results in children who can be very bright academically, but struggle with what are called our executive functions, or our ability to plan, organize, focus, and self-regulate. So, the next time you encounter a whirling dervish and their very stressed parent at your local grocery store, have a little empathy, and remember, they are working with a completely different set of rules than your average parent.
ADHD Isn’t A Learning Disability
Technically, this myth is true. In the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders (DSM), ADHD is its own disorder and is not classified as a learning disorder. ADHD is grouped with other neurodevelopmental disorders such as Autism because it is the result of delayed brain development in certain areas. However, ADHD does impact a child’s ability to learn because they are unable to focus on the material for long. Kids with ADHD often pick up only bits and pieces, and so may have many gaps in their knowledge. Additionally, they often struggle to pay attention to what they read, and may skip or omit words, altering the meaning of their texts and impacting their understanding.
My Child Clearly Doesn’t Have ADHD Because They Can Focus On Minecraft
If we had a dollar for every time we heard this, we could give up our professional license and live in Tahiti! This is probably the most common misconception about ADHD, and for good reason. We hear countless stories about how kids can laser-focus on Minecraft, legos, or Fortnight for hours on end, but can’t even spend 5 minutes on their math homework without getting distracted. Allow us to correct this myth once and for all. ADHD is NOT the inability for your child to pay attention. ADHD is the inability for your child to regulate their attention. When something is boring, difficult, or plain old not that much fun like that math homework, we need to recruit our frontal lobes to help us stay focused. Remember what we said earlier about the prefrontal cortex? You got it right, the exact part of the brain that we need to help us focus on something uninteresting or difficult is the same region that is underdeveloped in children with ADHD.
Children With ADHD Are Choosing To Misbehave
Let’s talk about impulses for a second. When was the last time you had an impulse that you managed to squash? For me it was about 5 seconds ago. I had an impulse to check Facebook while working on this section. Fortunately, my PFC stepped in and I decided that wasn’t such a great idea because I’d probably go down a social media rabbit hole and this chapter would never get finished. That original impulse though? That wasn’t a decision, it was just an impulse that occurred on the order of about 250 milliseconds, faster than you can blink. We all have thousands of them, every single day. Having a fully-functioning PFC allows us to think ahead and inhibit our impulses, and thank goodness because otherwise a lot of us might end up in jail. Children, and adults, living with ADHD run off of their impulses, and have little-to-no choice in the matter. Recall, I said impulses occur in a quarter of a second. Our prefrontal cortex needs about half a second in order to step in and inhibit our impulses. So, children who are “misbehaving” are simply acting out the impulses we all have, sort of like a Porsche 911 with bicycle brakes.
Children With ADHD Do Better In Montessori Schools And Other Unstructured Learning Environments
There is a huge push toward experiential learning and unstructured educational environments. I went to one of these schools (although back then it was called a hippie school – we built a solar-powered car out of a VW van, we grew vegetables, studied Latin and called all of their teachers by their first names.) I think they’re great, but not always great for kids with ADHD. Kids with ADHD don’t have a good executive functioning system, or internal structure. Academic environments such as Waldorff and Montessori schools that are nondirective and unstructured in their approach don’t require children to think ahead, self-monitor, self-regulate, and stay focused, so unfortunately, they are not in an environment to develop these skills.
My Child Doesn’t Have ADHD Because They Aren’t Hyperactive
One of the most common myths about ADHD is that people who don’t have hyperactive symptoms don’t really have ADHD. However, this is simply not true. There are three types of ADHD-inattentive, hyperactive-impulsive, and combined. While people with inattentive ADHD may not be particularly hyperactive, they still experience all the other symptoms of ADHD, including difficulty paying attention, impulsivity, and poor organization skills. So if you think your child may have ADHD, don’t wait to get them help. Early intervention can make a big difference in their ability to manage their symptoms and succeed in school and in life.
Children Can “Grow Out” Of ADHD
The myth that children will outgrow ADHD is unfortunately widespread. ADHD is a condition that can negatively impact every area of life, from school and work performance to social skills and self-esteem. While medication can provide some short-term relief, it does not address the underlying problem and will not prevent symptoms from returning once the medication wears off. Moreover, the benefits are limited to simple, sustained attention, and does not address executive functioning, as well as several other areas discussed above. The only way to reverse the effects of ADHD is through brain training. This specialized therapy uses a variety of techniques to retrain the brain and help individuals learn how to manage their symptoms. With proper treatment, children with ADHD can go on to lead happy, normal lives.
My Child With ADHD Just Isn’t Trying Hard Enough
Imagine you have a broken ankle, and you are about to run a marathon. You’re hobbling along, gimping through the slowest mile of your life. Along the way, your coach is yelling at you to “run faster!” “try harder!” “Come on, just believe in yourself and you can do it!” Now picture how that would make you feel. Pretty bad, right? That’s how your child feels when adults in their life are telling them they just need to try harder. They can’t “just try harder” any more than you can run a marathon with a broken ankle
Relationship Difficulties Due To “Deficits” In The ADHD
ADHD can often lead to difficulties in the parent-child relationship. For example, children with ADHD may be more difficult to discipline, and parents may feel like they are constantly fighting with their child. Additionally, children with ADHD may have trouble completing tasks or following directions, which can lead to tension between the parent and child.
It can be really hard. You ask your child to clean their room, and they start walking towards their room. Five minutes later you go to check on them and find them playing a game that was left out in their room. So you do your best to keep your cool and reassert yourself, “I need you to clean your room now”. Your child says, “Oh, I’m sorry”, and says they will get to it right away. When you come back, it looks like they put away the game but now they are working on their lego project that they had started earlier in the day. Now your temper is running short, and you very sternly demand, “I need you to clean their room now!” The cycle continues, you know the story. Cleaning their room would have taken 30 minutes if they could have just focused and not gotten distracted, but unless you hover over them, they drift off to something else that distracts them every 5 minutes or so. It’s exasperating to say the least.
Many parents feel guilty when they yell at their child with ADHD. They may feel like they are not being patient enough, or that they are not providing the support their child needs. Yelling can be a stressful and ineffective way to communicate with a child who has ADHD. It can also damage the parent-child relationship. The thing is, most parents don’t talk to each other about this issue. The yelling happens behind closed doors. There is so much guilt experienced from a child with ADHD who may have several meltdowns a day.
A meltdown is when the child can’t control their emotions when reacting to a situation, and your child may become angry, cry, or withdraw. For a child with ADHD, a meltdown can be caused by anything that is overwhelming or upsetting, such as a change in routine, being asked to do something they don’t want to do, or even a simple task. Many children with ADHD have difficulty regulating their emotions, so they are more prone to meltdowns than other kids. In addition, many children with ADHD are impulsive and have difficulty controlling their impulses, which can also lead to meltdowns. Meltdowns can be very frustrating and exhausting for both the child and the parent. However, there are some things you can do to help prevent and manage meltdowns. Parents I talk to often feel so frustrated and sometimes they just feel they are out of options. I get it, it’s not easy, it’s frustrating, why can’t they just listen? It would take a fraction of the time to just listen and get things done. I’m here to tell you that it doesn’t have to be this way. Stay tuned and you will learn about the solutions. There is hope, it can and will be different with the solutions we will provide for you.
As much as possible, try to stay calm and constructive when you are communicating with their child. If you feel like they are becoming frustrated, they should take a break and come back to the conversation later. Yelling will only make things worse, and it will not help your child to improve their ADHD symptoms.
If you have a child with ADHD, you know that meltdowns can happen anytime, anywhere. But there are usually warning signs that a meltdown is about to occur. If you know what to look for, you can sometimes head off a meltdown before it happens.
Here Are Some Common Warning Signs That A Child Is About To Have A Meltdown:
✔ Your child seems unusually tense or agitated.
✔ Your child is having trouble following directions or completing tasks.
✔ Your child is acting impulsively or making careless mistakes.
✔ Your child seems overwhelmed or frustrated.
✔ Your child is isolating himself from others or withdrawing from activities.
If you see any of these warning signs, take a deep breath and try to stay calm. Remind yourself that this is just a temporary situation and it will eventually pass. Take your child to a quiet place where he can calm down and regroup. Help him identify his feelings and talk through what he is feeling. And most importantly, be patient and understanding. With a little bit of help, your child will soon be back to his happy self again.
What Are Some Common Triggers For Meltdowns In Children With ADHD
Parents of children with ADHD know all too well the challenges that come with managing meltdowns. These episodes can be triggered by a number of different things, including stress, fatigue, hunger, and sensory overload. In some cases, a child may have a meltdown simply because they are feeling overwhelmed or frustrated. No matter the cause, meltdowns can be incredibly difficult to deal with. Not only do they cause disruptions in the child’s life, but they can also be very draining for parents and caregivers. However, there are some strategies that can help to lessen the frequency and intensity of meltdowns. By being aware of the child’s triggers and providing them with a structured routine, parents can help to reduce the likelihood of an episode occurring. Additionally, it is important to provide support and understanding during and after a meltdown has occurred. With patience and care, parents can help their child navigate these challenges successfully.
How Can I Help My Child Calm Down During Or After A Meltdown?
First, it is important to stay calm. Children are very good at picking up on the emotional cues of those around them, and if you are feeling panicked or stressed, your child will likely mirror those emotions. Instead, try to take slow, deep breaths and speak in a calm voice. This will help to set the tone for the situation and make it less likely that your child will become further agitated.
Next, try to understand what triggered the meltdown. Was your child feeling overwhelmed by a task? Did something happen that upset them? Once you know what sparked the meltdown, you can address the issue directly and help your child to develop a plan for avoiding or coping with similar situations in the future.
Finally, provide plenty of love and support. Meltdowns can be extremely overwhelming and exhausting for both children and parents. After everything has calmed down, take some time to cuddle with your child or give them a loving message. This will help them to feel safe and secure, and remind them that they are loved no matter what.
While meltdowns may always be a part of life for children with ADHD, following these steps can help to make them more manageable and less disruptive for everyone involved
What Should I Do If My Child Has A Meltdown In Public?
Stay calm: It can be difficult to stay calm when your child is having a meltdown, but it’s important to try. If you get frustrated or angry, it will only make the situation worse.
Try The Following 3 Strategies If Your Child Has A Meltdown In Public:
1. Remove your child from the situation: If possible, remove your child from the situation that is causing the meltdown. This will help to diffuse the situation and allow your child to calm down.
2. Identify triggers: Try to identify what triggers meltdowns for your child and avoid these situations if possible.
3. Encourage positive coping mechanisms: Teach your child positive coping mechanisms such as deep breathing or counting to 10. These can help to diffuse a meltdown before it starts.
How Can You Prevent Meltdowns From Happening In The First Place?
Parents of children with ADHD know all too well the frustration and embarrassment of child meltdowns. These tantrums can happen anywhere, at any time, and often leave both child and parent feeling exhausted and defeated. But there are things that parents can do to prevent child meltdowns from happening in the first place.
One of the best ways to prevent child meltdowns is to establish a routine and stick to it as much as possible. Children with ADHD thrive on predictability and routine can help provide a sense of structure and calm. Try to create a daily schedule for your child that includes time for school, homework, meals, play, and relaxation. And be sure to review the schedule with your child each day so they know what to expect.
Another way to prevent child meltdowns is to avoid triggers that you know will set off your child. If your child gets overwhelmed in large crowds, try to avoid taking them to places like the mall or amusement park. If loud noises or bright lights tend to upset your child, try to steer clear of places like arcades or movie theaters. When you know what will trigger a meltdown, you can take steps to avoid those situations.
Setup expectations prior to going into a situation which may cause a meltdown. Perhaps your child has had a meltdown at the store when they didn’t get their way about something. Maybe you didn’t purchase something they really wanted. The next time you go to the store, spend some time in the parking lot setting up your expectations for their behavior. You could say,
“There are 4 rules I need you to follow when we are in the store today. 1) There is no running or horseplay in the store 2) I expect you to have good manners 3) We are not purchasing any toys for you today; however, if you demonstrate good behavior, we will visit the doughnut shop after we are done shopping as a reward for your good behavior 4) If you do not follow these rules, we will leave the store immediately and go straight home without going to the doughnut shop. Please repeat the rules back to me.”
This will help you set up the situation for success and avoid meltdowns in the future.
Finally, it’s important to model calm behavior for your child. When you remain calm in the face of adversity, it sets a good example for your child and shows them that it’s possible to handle difficult situations without losing control.
The Benefits Of A Diagnosis For Your Child
A diagnosis can help your child get the treatment they need to thrive.
Early diagnosis and treatment of ADHD can make a big difference in your child’s life. Children with ADHD often have difficulty paying attention, following instructions, and controlling impulsive behavior. As a result, they may struggle in school, at home, and in social situations. However, there are many effective treatments available for ADHD. If discovered early enough, your child may be able to completely reverse their symptoms of ADHD. It’s never too late to seek the help they need. Our center has helped 1000s of children by learning how to use their own internal resources through medication free, brain strengthening exercises. It’s important to know that getting a diagnosis does not “give” your child anything. Rather, it gives you the knowledge you need to make intervention decisions that best fit your situation.
A Diagnosis Can Get Your Child The Help They Need At School
A child that has been diagnosed with ADHD can get many different types of help from their school. The assessment that was done should include a comprehensive report, that includes helpful recommendations and accommodations. For example, your school may create a 504 plan that may include preferential seating to minimize distractions, extra time on tests, or having notes read aloud in class to ensure comprehension of the instructions.
A Diagnosis Helps Others Understand Your Child Better
It can provide insight into why your child may act certain ways and have difficulty with certain tasks. It can also help to dispel any myths or misconceptions about ADHD. A diagnosis can also be a relief for parents, who may feel that they were doing something wrong or that their child was somehow to blame for their difficulties. If you choose to do a comprehensive neuropsychological assessment to determine whether your child has ADHD, the results will delineate your child’s specific strengths and weaknesses, so that you, teachers, and others working with your child will know what approaches will be the most helpful to them. Many parents find the assessment processes enlightening, because they gain a much deeper understanding of their child. Your child may experience a sense of relief because they no longer have to feel like something is wrong with them. We have heard from countless children with ADHD, that they feel “dumb” even though they are smart. Hearing they are smart from their parents only goes so far, but when we discuss your child’s strengths with them, they understand what they knew all along, that they are in fact smart, and that something they couldn’t put their finger on was holding them back, making things harder than they should be for them. Ultimately, a child’s diagnosis can be a helpful tool in understanding and supporting your child for you, teachers, and even themselves!
A Diagnosis Helps Other Professionals With Planning Treatment
A child ADHD diagnosis helps other professionals with planning treatment, as the diagnosis can provide insight into the child’s condition. A child’s diagnosis can also help to rule out other potential causes of the child’s symptoms. In addition, an ADHD diagnosis can help to identify any comorbid conditions that may be present. Comorbid conditions are often associated with ADHD, and they can include anxiety, depression, and learning disabilities. An ADHD diagnosis can also help professionals to develop a treatment plan that is tailored to the child’s individual needs. Without a diagnosis, it would be difficult for professionals to provide the child with the most appropriate care.
5 Stages Of An ADHD Diagnosis For Parents
1. Anger: “How Come Nobody Told Me This Before? I’ve Lost So Much Time Not Knowing This
As any parent knows, there is nothing quite like the feeling of seeing your child successfully diagnosed with a condition that you have been worried about for months, even years. To finally have a name and a course of treatment for what has been preventing your child from reaching their full potential is immensely relieving – and also extremely frustrating. After all, why did it take so long to get here? If only you had known about this condition sooner, you could have started treatment sooner and spared your child a lot of anguish. But as they say, hindsight is 20/20. But try to take it as a chance to learn more about your child and how to best support them. With the right help, your child can still lead a happy and successful life. So don’t let the ADHD diagnosis get you down – use it as an opportunity to advocate for your child and ensure they get the best possible care.
2. Denial: “I Don’t Have That!”
Many parents react with denial when they start noticing symptoms in their child or when their child is first diagnosed with ADHD. They may feel like they failed as a parent or that they are being judged. Sometimes we see one parent starting to notice the symptoms while the other parent is in denial. Other times both parents are completely unaware and their child asks for an assessment, because they suspect that they do have ADHD. It is important to remember that ADHD is stagnation (i.e., failure to keep pace with peers) in the development of attentional control and other executive functions. It is not something that your child will merely “grow out of”. However, with proper treatment, children with ADHD can lead happy, normal lives. If you are a parent who is in denial about your child’s condition, it is important to seek out support from professionals who can help you come to terms with the diagnosis and find the treatment that best fits your child and your family.
3. Depression: Life Is Never Going To Be Good With ADHD
As a parent, it can be difficult to watch your child struggle. When your child is diagnosed with ADHD, it can be overwhelming. You may feel like you are failing as a parent or that you are to blame. It is important to remember that ADHD is a real medical condition. It is not your fault and there is nothing you could have done to prevent it. Your child is not struggling because they are lazy or unruly. They are struggling because they have a real medical condition that makes it difficult for them to focus and behave like other kids their age.
4. Relief: I’ve Always Known …
As a parent, it can be difficult to watch your child struggle in school and at home. You may feel helpless as you see them falling behind their peers and struggling to maintain focus. However, when a child is diagnosed with ADHD, it can be a relief for both the child and the parent. With a diagnosis comes understanding and a plan for treatment. Parents can work with the child’s teachers to ensure that they are receiving the support they need. In addition, medication and counseling can help the child to focus and manage their symptoms. As a result, a diagnosis of ADHD can provide both parents and children with a sense of hope and a path towards success.
5. Acceptance: “Ok I Have An ADHD, Now What?
As a parent, you may feel overwhelmed and unsure of what to do when your child is diagnosed with ADHD. It is important to remember that you are not alone.
8 Common Negative Aspects Of ADHD That Children Experience
1. Difficulty Paying Attention In Class
A child with ADHD can have difficulty paying attention in class for a number of reasons. First, ADHD is a condition that is characterized by impulsivity and hyperactivity, which can make it hard for a child to sit still and focus on a lesson. Additionally, many children with ADHD also have difficulty processing information quickly, which can make it difficult to keep up with the pace of a classroom discussion. Finally, some children with ADHD may simply be bored by the material they are being asked to learn, leading them to tune out and daydream. As a result, it is important to work closely with the child’s teacher to ensure that he or she is getting the accommodations and support needed to succeed in school.
2. Trouble Completing Tasks Or Projects On Time
For children with ADHD, completing tasks or projects on time can be a real challenge. The child may start the task with good intentions, but then get sidetracked or become easily distracted. This can make it difficult to finish what they started, leading to frustration and feelings of inadequacy. One way to help children with ADHD is to break down tasks into smaller, more manageable steps. This can help the child to focus and stay on track. In addition, it is important to provide encouragement and support. letting the child know that you believe in their ability to succeed can make a big difference in their motivation and confidence. With some planning and support, children with ADHD can learn to successfully complete tasks and reach their goals.
3. Impulsiveness Leading To Poor Decision-Making
Childhood is a time of exploration and discovery. For many kids, it’s also a time when they learn to make choices and control their impulses. However, for children with ADHD, impulsiveness can lead to poor decision-making. because they haven’t yet learned how to think through the consequences of their actions. This can result in problems at home, school, and in social situations. As parents, we can help our kids by teaching them how to pause and consider the possible outcomes of their choices. With practice, they can learn to control their impulses and make better decisions. In the meantime, we need to be patient and understanding, knowing that our child is working hard to overcome these challenges.
4. Easily Distracted By Noises Or Movement Around Them
Children with ADHD are easily distracted by noises or movement around them. This can make it difficult for them to focus on tasks or pay attention to what is being said to them. They may also become easily frustrated and have difficulty completing tasks. In addition, they may act impulsively and have trouble controlling their emotions. These symptoms can significantly impact a child’s daily life. Children with ADHD may struggle in school, social situations, and at home. However, there are treatments available that can help children manage their symptoms and improve their quality of life. With the proper support, children with ADHD can reach their full potential.
5. Inability To Stay Seated Or Focus On A Task For More Than A Few Minutes
It can be difficult to focus on one task for more than a few minutes, whether you’re a child or an adult. But for children with ADHD, this symptom can cause problems at school and at home. When homework or classwork is difficult, it’s hard to sit still and focus on the task at hand. As a result, children with ADHD may have lower grades than their classmates and may struggle to keep up with schoolwork. This symptom can also make it hard to follow instructions and participate in activities like sports or music. As a child grows older, this symptom may improve with age and treatment. However, some adults continue to struggle with attention and focus throughout their lives.
Talking out of turn and difficulty following instructions are child adhd symptoms that can play havoc in daily life. When a child with ADHD talks out of turn, it can disrupt class and make it difficult for the child to focus and learn. Additionally, when a child has difficulty following instructions, it can lead to frustration and further behavioral problems. Fortunately, there are strategies that parents and teachers can use to help children with ADHD manage these symptoms. For example, parents can provide structure and routines at home, while teachers can use visual aids and explicit instructions in the classroom. By using these strategies, children with ADHD can learn to cope with their symptoms and succeed in school and in life.
6. Struggling With Social Interactions, Often Feeling Shy Or Withdrawn
Children with ADHD often struggle in social situations. They may feel shy or withdrawn, and have difficulty interacting with other kids their age. This can make it hard for them to make friends and participate in activities. As a result, they may end up feeling isolated and alone. If your child is struggling with social interactions, there are a few things you can do to help. First, try to encourage positive social interactions by setting up playdates or joining a youth group. You can also help your child practice social skills by role-playing different scenarios. Ultimately, it’s important to be patient and understanding as your child navigates the challenges of social interaction.
7. Constant Emotional Highs And Lows, Leading To Mood Swings
One of the characteristics of ADHD is mood swings. These can be caused by changes in the child’s environment, their level of activity, or their hormones. The child may go from feeling happy to feeling sad or angry very quickly. This can be confusing and frustrating for both the child and those around them.
Mood swings can also be a result of the child’s impulsivity. They may act on their emotions without thinking about the consequences. This can lead to them saying or doing things that they later regret. It is important to help the child learn to control their impulses and to think before they act.
There are also certain situations that can trigger mood swings in children with ADHD. These include changes in routine, being overstimulated, or feeling bored or frustrated. It is important to be aware of these triggers so that you can help the child to avoid them or deal with them in a constructive way.
8. Difficulty Sleeping Due To Racing Thoughts Or Inability To Relax
Many children with ADHD find it difficult to fall asleep at night due to racing thoughts. Their minds are constantly moving and they can’t seem to relax. This can lead to difficulty concentrating during the day and a lack of energy. If your child is having trouble sleeping, there are a few things you can do to help. First, try to establish a regular bedtime routine. This will help your child’s body know when it’s time to wind down for the night. Second, create a calm environment in the child’s bedroom by dimming the lights and avoiding screen time before bed. Finally, encourage your child to practice some relaxation techniques such as deep breathing or visualization. With some effort, your child should be able to get a good night’s sleep
ADHD Girls And Relationship Difficulties
ADHD can present a number of challenges in relationships, and this is especially true for girls. ADHD can lead to impulsive behavior, which can be a problem in both romantic and platonic relationships. ADHD can also make it difficult to focus on tasks, leading to disagreements and conflict. In addition, ADHD can make it hard to stay organized, which can be frustrating for both partners. Girls with ADHD may find themselves facing additional challenges in relationships due to societal expectations. For example, girls are often socialized to be more passive and accommodating, while boys are encouraged to be more assertive. As a result, girls with ADHD may have difficulty communicating their needs and setting boundaries. They may also find it harder to stand up for themselves when faced with conflict. Despite these challenges, there are ways to manage ADHD in relationships. Couples therapy can help partners learn to communicate more effectively and resolve conflict in a healthy way. Individual therapy can also be beneficial for helping girls with ADHD learn how to assert themselves and set boundaries.
ADHD Boys And Relationship Difficulties
ADHD can present a number of challenges in relationships, both romantic and platonic. Those with ADHD may have difficulty reading social cues, maintaining eye contact, and controlling impulsive behaviors. For boys with ADHD, these difficulties can be magnified. Boys with ADHD are more likely to be hyperactive and disruptive, which can make it hard to form lasting friendships. They may also act out in romantic relationships, leading to conflict and ultimately, breakups. As they get older, ADHD boys may struggle to establish intimate relationships. They may have trouble reading the signals that someone is interested in them, or they may act impulsively and say or do something that scares their partner away. ADHD can also make it difficult to stick to commitments, which can strain even the strongest relationships. However, it is important to remember that ADHD does not have to be a barrier to successful relationships. With patience and understanding, boys with ADHD can learn to navigate the challenges of social interactions and build fulfilling connections with others.
However, there are ways to overcome these challenges. ADHD boys can learn to control their emotions and impulses, and they can also learn to communicate effectively with their partner. By understanding and addressing the challenges of ADHD, boys can have successful and fulfilling relationships.
What Are The 5 Love Languages For Children With ADHD
As any parent knows, communication is essential for a healthy parent-child relationship. However, children with ADHD can often have difficulty communicating their needs, which can lead to tension and conflict. Fortunately, there are five “love languages” that can help to foster communication and understanding between parents and children with ADHD.
The first love language is quality time, which involves spending undivided attention on the child. The second is physical touch, which can involve anything from a hug to a high five. The third is words of affirmation, which involve verbally expressing love and appreciation. The fourth is acts of service, which involve doing things to help the child. And the fifth is gifts, which can be given for no particular reason other than to show love and affection. By understanding these five love languages, parents can better communicate with their children with ADHD and build strong, healthy relationships.
How Can You Use These Love Languages To Connect With Your Child?
When it comes to child-rearing, every parent has their own unique style. But one thing all parents have in common is the desire to love and connect with their child. The 5 Love Languages is a popular book that identifies 5 different ways people like to receive love: physical touch, quality time, words of affirmation, acts of service, and gifts. While every child is different, understanding these love languages can help you to connect with your child in a way that is meaningful to them. Here are some tips on how to use the 5 Love Languages to connect with your child:
Physical Touch: If your child’s primary love language is physical touch, they will likely respond well to hugs, cuddles, and other forms of affection. Try to incorporate physical touch into your daily routine, such as when you say goodbye in the morning or before bedtime.
Quality Time: If your child’s primary love language is quality time, they will likely appreciate spending one-on-one time with you doing activities they enjoy. Try to set aside some time each day (even if it’s just 10-15 minutes) for undivided attention. During this time, put away all distractions and focus on your child.
Words Of Affirmation: If your child’s primary love language is words of affirmation, they will likely enjoy hearing words of encouragement from you. Try to give specific compliments that focus on their strengths and accomplishments. For example, “I’m so proud of the effort you put into cleaning up your room!” or “You did a great job sharing with your sister.”
Acts Of Service: If your child’s primary love language is acts of service, they will likely appreciate it when you do things for them that make their life easier. This could include making their lunch for school, packing their backpack, or taking care of a chore they don’t like doing. Pay attention to what tasks your child tends to struggle with and look for opportunities to lend a helping hand.
Gifts: If your child’s primary love language is gifts, they will likely enjoy receiving small tokens of affection from you. This doesn’t have to be anything expensive – even a simple card or drawing can mean a lot. Pay attention to what kinds of things your child tends to get excited about and look for opportunities to give them a special treat.
Be Patient: It can be difficult to communicate with children with ADHD, but it’s important to be patient and understand that they may process information differently than you do. Try to be understanding and give them the time they need to express themselves.
How Do I Know If My Child Is Responding To My Love Language Efforts?
If you’re not sure whether your child is responding to your love language efforts, there are a few things you can look for. First, pay attention to their body language. Do they seem more relaxed and at ease when you’re around? Are they quick to give you a hug or kiss, or do they shy away from physical affection? Second, notice how they respond to your words of affirmation and appreciation. Do they light up with happiness, or do they seem indifferent? Lastly, take note of how they behave when you make an effort to spend quality time with them. Do they seem happy and engaged, or do they seem distracted and restless? If you see any of these signs, it’s a good indication that your child is responding positively to your love language efforts.
What Should I Do If I'm Not Sure What My Child's Love Language Is?
If you’re not sure what your child’s love language is, there are a few things you can do to try and figure it out. One option is to take a quiz together. There are many different love language quizzes available online, and taking one together can be a fun way to learn more about each other. You can also try observing your child to see what kinds of things seem to make them happiest. Pay attention to the words they use when they express themselves and the things they ask for most often. This can give you some clues as to what their love language might be. Lastly, don’t be afraid to ask your child directly. They may be able to tell you exactly what makes them feel loved and appreciated. By taking the time to understand your child’s love language, you can help foster a deeper connection with them and make sure they always feel loved.
No matter what love language you use, the most important thing is to be consistent. It may take some time and effort to learn your child’s love language and start using it effectively, but it’s worth it in the end. When children feel loved and appreciated, they’re more likely to thrive both emotionally and academically. So don’t hesitate to start showing your child love in their own unique way today!
Solutions
4 Ways To Instantly Start Moving Your Child To Unlimited Potential
How Exercise Improves Your Child Focus And Learning
This is a super easy solution that you can do with almost no trouble at all. Exercise is one of the most powerful ways to impact your child’s neuroplasticity, and it’s free. Most children need approximately 1 hour of vigorous exercise, so the easiest thing to do is go out into your backyard and play vigorously. If you watch active children, many of them will do the equivalent of high intensity interval training all on their own. They run around fast, then rest, and repeat that over and over. There is no need for expensive gyms to get this benefit.
If your child doesn’t already have a device with a step tracker, get one for them. Fitbit makes a very inexpensive child device, or your child may already have a smartwatch or some other device that may already have a fitness tracker on it. Tell your child they need to get 10,000 steps a day. Make a fun game out of it. If they have brothers or sisters, have everyone in the family participate and review their results each night at dinner. See who can get to 10,000 steps for the day, and that includes mom and dad!
I did this with my children and I was amazed at how easy it was. We gave them child Fitbits and they immediately started keeping track. It was actually quite easy for them to get 10,000 steps when they put their minds to it. Since they were keeping track, if they started falling behind, they would intentionally run around the house or play in the backyard to get their steps for the day. Sometimes they would even beat me and would be very proud of themselves.
There is a lot of research that demonstrates the health benefits of exercise for your child. They will be able to focus better, stay still longer, and it will improve their memory. Exercise also elevates their mood and makes them calmer. Exercise generates Brain Derived Neurotrophic Factor, which facilitates neuroplasticity, and it’s FREE!!
Here is the best part!! Exercise and sleep go hand in hand. For my children, I noticed they quickly fell asleep at night and slept much better throughout the night when they reached 10,000 steps during the daytime. You may notice this too, or you may notice that your child needs a bit more or a bit less to have an optimal night’s sleep. The cognitive and mental health benefits of exercise are vast, so get started today and start keeping track. It’s a lot of fun and you will notice the difference in your child right away!!
How Much Sleep Does Your Child Need For Their Brain To Develop Faster And Perform Better?
Sleep is critical during your child’s developing years. If you are waking your child up in the morning, then they aren’t getting enough sleep at night. You have already started keeping track of their exercise and they are hitting their goal of 10,000 steps. Doing this alone may have a huge impact on their sleep.
Sleep hygiene, which refers to sleep-related habits and the sleep environment, is very important for your child’s overall wellbeing. Establishing and maintaining a regular sleep cycle helps your child’s body recover and their brain consolidate newly learned information into long term memory!
See The Chart Below To Determine How Much Sleep Your Child Needs:
Using this chart, determine what time your child needs to wake up to go to school on time, and work backwards. If your child is 8 years old, and they need to wake up at 7 am to be to school on time, then their bedtime is 8 pm (if they are well-rested with 11 hours of sleep). Remember, if they are not waking up on their own in the morning, then they probably require more sleep.
Maintaining this sleep schedule 7 nights a week is critical to your child’s brain development. Of course, you can vary it slightly during weekends or special events by an hour or so, but otherwise do your best to keep their sleep schedule regular so they go to bed around the same time EVERY NIGHT! Keeping a consistent bedtime will help their body develop good circadian rhythms, and will help their body and brain benefit from getting enough Rapid Eye Movement (REM) and deep sleep.
During REM sleep, brain activity increases, nearing levels seen when awake.The body experiences atonia during REM sleep, which is a temporary paralysis of the muscles with two exceptions: the eyes and the muscles that control breathing. REM sleep is essential to cognitive functions like memory, learning, and creativity. In addition, dreams are more common and intense in REM periods than in non-REM periods.
It is also helpful to establish a regular bedtime routine. An hour before bed, being calm and reducing activity is important. Leading up to bedtime, getting dressed for bed, brushing their teeth, and perhaps story time or reading a book may be a helpful routine. Adjust yours to fit your child and your family. Establishing such a routine triggers signals in your child’s brain, and helps them transition from their busy day into a restful night.
Their environment is also very important prior to going to bed and during the night. Make sure to turn off all screens at least 1 hour before bed. Their room should be dark with no lights from any devices. Blackout shades are helpful so they are not woken up in the morning by the sun. Perhaps some relaxing music that has a timer to turn off after they fall asleep would be helpful, such as an Amazon Echo device.
Helping your child establish a healthy sleep routine and getting enough sleep is the single most important thing you can do to ensure their brain is developing at a normal rate and to improve their focus, learning, creativity, and executive functions.
How Much Water Does Your Child’s Brain Need For Optimal Performance
Getting enough water helps your child’s mood, memory, and attention. A simple way to determine how much water they should drink is to take their weight and divide it by 2. This is the recommended number of ounces of water your child should drink per day. Drinking from a straw helps your child drink more water than just sipping it out of a cup. So search for a water bottle with a straw that will hold enough water for them to fill up 1-3 times per day to meet their daily hydration needs.
It may be helpful for you to tell your child how important water is for them, and keep a chart of their daily intake. Each time they drink a full bottle they get a check. So, if your child weighs 72 lbs, they would need to drink 36 ounces of water each day (72/2=36). If you get them a 12 ounce water bottle, they would need to fill it up 3 times and drink it before the end of the day. For each time they drink a bottle, they can give themselves a checkmark. Make sure your child avoids drinking a lot of water towards the evening. Otherwise it may disturb their sleep because they will need to get up and go to the bathroom frequently either before they fall asleep or during the night.
How Much Water Does Your Child’s Brain Need For Optimal Performance
Getting enough water helps your child’s mood, memory, and attention. A simple way to determine how much water they should drink is to take their weight and divide it by 2. This is the recommended number of ounces of water your child should drink per day. Drinking from a straw helps your child drink more water than just sipping it out of a cup. So search for a water bottle with a straw that will hold enough water for them to fill up 1-3 times per day to meet their daily hydration needs.
It may be helpful for you to tell your child how important water is for them, and keep a chart of their daily intake. Each time they drink a full bottle they get a check. So, if your child weighs 72 lbs, they would need to drink 36 ounces of water each day (72/2=36). If you get them a 12 ounce water bottle, they would need to fill it up 3 times and drink it before the end of the day. For each time they drink a bottle, they can give themselves a checkmark. Make sure your child avoids drinking a lot of water towards the evening. Otherwise it may disturb their sleep because they will need to get up and go to the bathroom frequently either before they fall asleep or during the night.
What Is The Best Diet For My Child’s ADHD?
What Is The Best Diet For My Child’s ADHD?
Eating a protein-rich breakfast is key for focusing and managing ADHD symptoms. Protein helps create brain hormones that enable communication between cells, as well as preventing spikes in blood sugar levels, which can increase hyperactivity. Paired with complex carbohydrates rich in fiber to help keep their energy level from spiking up and down too quickly, reducing the intake of sugars further helps your child deal with their daily challenges. Ultimately, it will create an optimal environment for learning and productivity!
Why Are Omega-3s Helpful For My Child?
Omega-3 fatty acids are an integral part of a healthy diet, and research has demonstrated that for children with ADHD these essential fats can make an incredible difference. Studies show kids who have had adequate intake of omega-3’s exhibited great improvements in hyperactivity, impulsivity, and concentration compared to those without the needed level of this nutrient. If your child is not already eating fish regularly, consider adding it and other foods that are rich in omega-3s in the chart below:
- Fish and other seafood (especially cold-water fatty fish, such as salmon, mackerel, tuna, herring, and sardines)
- Nuts and seeds (such as flaxseed, chia seeds, and walnuts)
- Plant oils (such as flaxseed oil, soybean oil, and canola oil)
- Fortified foods (such as certain brands of eggs, yogurt, juices, milk, soy beverages, and infant formulas)
If you have trouble adding these foods to your child’s diet, you may want to consider supplementation to reach ideal Omega-3 levels. Consult your child’s pediatrician to see if omega-3 supplements would be helpful and appropriate for your child.
Why Iron Is Critical For Your Child With ADHD And How To Know How Much They Need
Despite a common misconception, children with ADHD may have significantly lower iron levels than those without ADHD. According to research from 2004 and beyond, even mild deficiencies can be detrimental—affecting symptoms as severely or more so than untreated ADHD. While traditional blood tests do not reveal these details, ferritin measurements offer a precise reading of your child’s level for an accurate diagnosis and treatment plan if needed. Ask your child’s pediatrician to test for ferritin levels and if they would benefit from supplementation. It may also be helpful to increase their diet in iron-rich foods, such as lean red meat, turkey, chicken, shellfish, and beans. After a few months, ask your child’s pediatrician to recheck their ferritin levels.
The 2 Key Minerals Important For Managing Your Child’s ADHD
When it comes to managing ADHD symptoms, zinc and magnesium are two key minerals that may make a big difference. Despite their importance for overall health, many people – with or without the condition – have been found to lack either mineral in adequate amounts. Zinc can help regulate dopamine levels while research suggests magnesium is involved in attention and concentration-related neurotransmitter production and has calming effects on the brain. So if you want an extra insight into controlling ADHD symptomatology then be sure to ask your doctor to test your child’s zinc and magnesium levels!
The Effects Of Food Additives On Your Child With ADHD
A number of research studies have highlighted the negative impacts that food additives can have on children with and without ADHD. The effects range from higher levels of hyperactivity to difficulty focusing; therefore, the European Union requires a warning label be displayed whenever these substances are used in consumer products. Gatorade, candy, and cheese puffs typically contain high numbers or artificial colors and preservatives – however they may also be found elsewhere as well! When selecting snacks for your family it is best to opt for items like natural juices rather than artificially flavored drinks such as fruit punches, while cereal options should aim towards plain Cheerios over more brightly colored choices (i.e Fruit Loops).
What Foods Trigger Your Child’s ADHD Symptoms?
Are your suspicions about which foods may be triggering or worsening ADHD symptoms in your child true? To find out, you can put a restrictive nutrition plan into action by removing specific items from their daily diet. Results often show that while children with ADHD do not have medical food allergies, they can still benefit from dietary changes if certain ingredients are causing problems – this could manifest as hay fever, asthma and eczema for example; although it is also possible to feel the effects without any of these physical reactions occurring. If one or two banned substances come immediately to mind when assessing potential causes for lagging performance day-to-day then get rid of them over a period between 2 -3 weeks so you know what effect doing so has had on those all important symptoms. Speak firstly however with an experienced professional who will guide and support best practices throughout this ‘investigation’ stage.
You now have the tools to instantly start moving your child to their unlimited potential, through exercise, sleep, hydration, and diet. Making improvements in any one of these areas will provide significant results, and by executing a plan in all these areas, you will begin to put your child on a new pathway to realize their unlimited potential.
Are you ready for the next level? For those parents who want to have a more substantial impact on their child and become their real life hero, I have exciting news!! You can truly become your child’s superhero, their real life Princess Leia, or Luke Skywalker, by transforming their life forever. Read on to learn how
How To Reverse ADHD For Life
Our clinic has spent the past 15 years researching and refining treatments for ADHD that make improvements that are substantial and last a lifetime. You may see a learning center, a psychiatrist, psychologist, or brain training center that do an excellent job within their area of speciality. However, we have found that if you want the ultimate outcome, that is, obtain the greatest likelihood that your child will reverse their ADHD to the fullest extent, then there are specific methods that need to be targeted in a specific sequence that is unique to your child’s needs. Doing only one thing will not help your child reach their full potential. However, by identifying the areas of their brain that are lagging behind, the ones that are causing all their symptoms, and catching them up to the ones that are already optimized, this is how you will truly make an impact on their lives forever. We show parents how to do this in the specific areas that their child so desperately needs, and deliver them in such a way that your child is prepared for anything that comes at them in their future, so they become excited about life’s challenges and thrive. We show you how your child can build up their own internal resources so they can realize their full potential and transform their lives, forever.
Transformative Interventions For Your Child’s ADHD: A Paradigm Shift
Before we get into what type of therapies are beneficial for your child, let’s discuss the way the brain works, so that you can better understand your choices. But even before we do that, since most of us are more familiar with the body, let’s start there. Some conditions of our body do not have any treatments available at all. For example, when I was in kindergarten, we were required to learn the primary colors. I felt very stupid because no matter how hard I tried, I couldn’t learn them. I wondered why it seemed so easy for everyone else in the classroom? It was much later in life that I learned I was colorblind. Color blindness, also known as color vision deficiency, is a condition in which people are unable to see certain colors or they see color differently than other people due to a deficiency in rods and cones in the eye. For me, I still need help picking out clothes and functioning in a color-centric world. People will refer to something as the red one, or the green one, and I still have no idea what they are talking about. Recently I went to REI to get some pants that match my Scoutmaster uniform. I had to put myself at the mercy of the sales clerk. I looked up a picture on the internet and told her, “Hi, I’m colorblind and I need your help. I need pants that are that color to match this Scoutmaster uniform”. She was happy to help, and I was relieved that I didn’t get drilled on all my colors. You see, often when people find out I’m colorblind, they are fascinated and start pointing to things and asking me what color everything looks like to me. I know they are just curious, but it also feels very insensitive. I used to play along, but instead I have found a way to just ignore their test and move on. My colorblindness has never ended for me and it almost always takes me back to elementary school when I felt stupid about not knowing my colors. There is no cure and nothing that corrects my color blindness. Unfortunately, I have no choice, there is no cure for this condition.
For other diseases of our body however, we may only be able to turn to medication for help. For example, in the case of Rheumatoid Arthritis, there are several medications that are beneficial for that condition. There really aren’t a lot of medication-free choices for that disease. There are also other medical problems that are mainly treated with medications, such as ulcerative colitis, cancer, or advanced heart disease, in which medication would be necessary to relieve the symptoms or at least lessen them.
Some conditions in our bodies can be overcome with certain medication-free therapies because our bodies are incredibly adaptive and respond adaptively to treatment. In fact, our body heals itself from a vast number of conditions. For example, If you cut your finger, we may put a bandaid on it. After several days, voila, you healed yourself. If you broke your arm, you would go to your doctor, get a cast, and your body immediately starts to produce new cells to heal the damage. Then, because your arm was immobilized for several weeks, you may go to physical therapy to strengthen it. The physical therapist may guide you through exercises and stretching to make your arm more flexible and stronger so that you would regain full function.
So, let’s focus on the adaptive parts of our body. Our muscles can grow and become stronger with resistance exercises. Our cardiovascular system can be improved through running, biking, and swimming through endurance exercises. We can certainly become more flexible through yoga and stretching. We all know these things to be true. The exception would be that if someone had a medical condition that would prevent the body from adapting, and prevent it from getting stronger in some way. Of course, there are always exceptions.
I had a personal experience with my leg. After I flew across the country, later that night my leg was swollen and it was painful. I was concerned and went to a nearby hospital. Several doctors looked at me and their main concern was a possible blood clot. The first thing they did after their physical exam was to actually look at my leg through imaging. They found that it wasn’t a blood clot and recommended surgery to correct the pain in my knee. I didn’t settle for that. I felt that perhaps I should try other solutions first. I could have taken medication for the pain, but, medication wears off, and the medication would do nothing for the root problem, rather, it would only mask the symptoms.
I recalled that one of the nurses (but none of the doctors) in the hospital was surprised how tight my leg was, and she felt it was the problem causing the swelling and pain in my leg. I got a second opinion from another doctor and he treated my leg with ultrasound and recommended stretching. After a few months, my leg was as good as new with no surgery and no medication. My body healed itself through stretching and medication-free ultrasound treatments. If I decided to take medication, it would have never healed my leg. I would have had a lifetime of pain and medication management. Surgery would have not solved the problem either. The problem was that the muscles in my old sports legs were too tight. I had a lot of muscle all bunched up and they needed my attention to stretch them. To this day, over 15 years later, I stretch my legs daily. I would rather exercise and stretch than take medications or have surgeries to mask the root problems. I prefer to solve problems and not mask them, but that’s just who I am. I know not everyone is like that. Moreover, a surgeon tends to look for solutions through their healing methods, namely surgery. Other physicians may offer help with medications. Our current health system has become so specialized that the specialists often only offer ways to address the symptoms within their specialty, and often do not address the root problem.
Who is the “quarterback” of health for your body and your brain? If you are lucky, you will find one. Otherwise, you or one of your loved ones may need to serve in that role. How would have you reacted in this situation? Would you have jumped right into the surgery? Sought other opinions from other medical professionals. Searched for alternative treatments?
Now let’s turn to the brain. The brain is the ultimate adaptive organ, similar to our muscles and cardiovascular system, and it can become stronger, gain endurance, and become more cognitively flexible through doing adaptive exercises. We all know this at some level. A waitress on her first day on the job may have an incredibly difficult time learning the menu and taking orders, but over time she learns the menu. Just the other day I was away on business, and this very professional server took the order from all 6 of us at the table, all the details, without writing down a single thing. He returned with impeccable service and got every detail right! Research studies have also been done on the brains of cab drivers from New York. Learning the different routes were reflected by the changes in their brains verified with fMRI scans that revealed increased volume and neural pathways around the visual spatial areas of their brains! There is tons and tons of research on this subject. It is a fact that our brains have plasticity and can adapt and change. If anyone tells you otherwise, they probably have not read a single book or journal article on the subject since the last century. And while you may be thinking that is far-fetched, I can tell you with confidence that there are very few professionals who have a thorough understanding of your child’s potential through neuroplasticity. This is why we are writing this book. It blows my mind how poorly informed the professionals that many of our clients go to are completely uninformed about neuroplasticity. And what’s more, they provide answers based on clinical lore rather than keeping up with the latest findings in neuroscience. As I said, most, but not all of them. If you are one of the fortunate few, your doctor has read the latest research. How do you know? Ask them how much time they spend each week reading and learning about the latest in neuroplasticity research? Ask them to tell you what ways you can help your child transform their lives to break their barriers so they can lead a limitless life unencumbered by their ADHD. We could write volumes of books on the subject and talk to you for weeks about the opportunities that are available to you and your child, that are substantiated by research. This book is one of many that we will be writing for you on the topic!
How do I know this? I was faculty at several top university medical centers. Most recently, I served as a pediatric neuropsychologist at the top Children’s Hospital and at the Child and Adolescent Psychiatry department in the area. I can tell you with 100% confidence that none of the psychiatry residents in training or psychology interns and postdocs received adequate training, if any training at all, on this topic. In fact, aside from the few research labs that were studying neuroplasticity directly, I met very few clinicians who knew anything about neuroplasticity and the latest in brain training. Their busy schedules driven by quotas to meet their revenue numbers and client hours do not allow them to research neuroplasticity within the scope of their daily schedule. I know, I was there at multiple centers across the country. The research I was able to do was spent outside my work schedule at these institutions. There was simply no time given to us to do that, unless you were on a research track and your primary responsibility was to write grant proposals on the topic, not see clients. Just last week I spoke with one of the highest administrators at one of the top Child and Adolescent Psychiatry Department’s in the world. Again, he was stuck in the old paradigm, unfortunately. He obviously had not taken the time to read any of the 1000s of research articles substantiating the power of neuroplasticity, and how you can show your child how to live a limitless life, their best life, today, not sometime in the future. He, too, simply did not have time in his busy work schedule.
In my follow-ups with doctors in the community, again, it is obvious that most of them have had very little training, if any at all, on the power of neuroplasticity. Yet, many of them will tell you their opinion on the topic. How can this be? Unfortunately, it results in the “window of opportunity” to help your child, to be closed before you even start the process. This is tragic and devastating to catastrophic levels. Opportunities to help your child are missed because the people you turn to are giving you the wrong, uninformed answers. It would be best to just admit they know very little on the topic and refer you to someone who does. But they don’t even know that they don’t know. It’s not their fault. They did not receive the training, and with managed care, client quotas given to them by their administration, very few of them have time to pursue this on their own.
One of my dearest friends, and colleague, Hans Steiner, MD, one of the most prolific psychiatrists of all time, author of more than 500 journal articles, 30 plus books, was one of the few professionals I came across who not only knew about the power of neuroplasticity, but he often referred his patients and highly recommended it to them! Unfortunately, Hans recently passed away. When I went to his memorial, there were countless faculty, clients, and former students discussing how he had transformed their lives. I then realized why it was so easy for Hans to accept what we were doing and the power of neuroplasticity. He had already embraced it in his own practice. For decades, he was stretching his students, colleagues, and clients beyond what they thought was possible. When we met, we saw eye to eye. I feel it is now our turn to carry the torch and help people transform their lives by stretching them beyond what they thought was possible.
Let’s turn back to neuroplasticity. The simplest form of neuroplasticity is long-term potentiation. This is just a way of explaining how the brain is different when it forms a new memory. If you have formed a new memory, you have experienced neuroplasticity. When you learn how to play the guitar, perform new dance moves, sing lyrics to a song, our brains are different and we can do this through the process of neuroplasticity. These are basic brain facts that have been substantiated over several decades of research through neuroimaging and neuropsychological testing.
So now that we have established that the brain is adaptive and can grow, get stronger, get faster, and more flexible, now we need to understand how to assess the functioning of the brain so that we know what areas would benefit from specific exercises. That is, we would know what areas and functions to target.
Psychiatry and psychology are some of the few disciplines that do not image the organ that they work on. Cardiologists image the heart, physicians image bones to cast them, obstetricians image the fetus to monitor the development of the baby’s brain and body. Why then, would psychologists and psychiatrists not look at the brain’s activity to see what it is doing, and how it changes according to interventions? There is no good answer to this question today. In order to assess the brain, doctors should look at what it is doing, its activity, and determine the root cause of your child’s symptoms.
However, a few decades ago, that answer was clear. You would have needed a 10 million dollar MRI machine and about $100,000 in helium per month to operate it. Clearly, that is beyond the scope of most professionals in private practice and it would be too expensive for everyone to go through these procedures even in a medical center. I will add that from my experience working in multiple hospitals and reviewing 1000s of MRIs, it is actually very rare to find a child’s brain showing abnormalities unless they had a brain tumor or a major brain injury, such as a severe traumatic brain injury or a neuroanatomical abnormality like a stroke.
Dr. Robert Thatcher, a friend and colleague of ours, former National Institute of Health (NIH) researcher, author of 100s of scientific journal articles and many books, explains it best, “The MRI only images the brain structure like a sports stadium and a parking lot and the street connecting them.” In other words, an MRI just images the gray, squishy stuff of your brain, or the neurons. It does not image the activity of the brain. It turns out that the activity of the brain is what is most important, because the brain’s activity explains symptoms that your child with ADHD is suffering from. Dr. Thatcher adds that “at NIH and UCLA there were studies of the difference between the MRI shortly before versus after a person’s death. The conclusion was that there were no significant differences in the structure of the “sports stadium” or the “parking lot and the street connecting them.” That is, the MRI scans of a person who was living was identical to their own MRI when they died. Let me say that in a different way. The MRI images from a dead brain looked identical to a living brain. Dr. Thatcher further explained that in contrast, “an electroencephalogram (eeg) is a totally different domain, that is, it is the dynamic moment to moment functional and effective connectivity circulating in neural loops involved in information processing and expectations and actions, and movements operating in milliseconds and consuming 20% to 40% of blood glucose at each moment of time.” The brain only weighs approximately 3 pounds but consumes 20% of our glucose! Dr. Thatcher concludes, “Much of the brain’s dynamic is measured by the EEG. This is why qEEG and neuroimaging in the millisecond domain is so important compared to structural MRI that’s the same dead or alive.” In other words, a qEEG that can be done in your doctor’s office provides you with more powerful information than an MRI! I would qualify this by adding that only if it is done by a highly trained clinician who uses high quality equipment and advanced technology to process it.
Here is another analogy that explains why a qEEG provides the information you need about your child over and above an MRI. Using an MRI to understand why your child is struggling would be like trying to determine if the highway system was adequate by looking at the traffic with a picture of the highway taken from a helicopter at 5 pm in the afternoon. In Northern California, we have highways that are 5 to 6 lanes wide, and taking a picture of the cars at 5 pm wouldn’t tell you anything about the flow, especially because people follow close behind even when traveling at fast speeds. Instead, you would need to take a movie so you could measure the speed and observe the traffic flow to determine if the highway system was adequately handling it.
Taking a picture of the brain to determine its function makes about as much sense as taking a picture of the highway, we need a movie of the brain or a recording of its activity. To do that with an MRI, you would need a functional MRI (fMRI), which shows the metabolism of the brain and not the actual brain activity. So, an fMRI is only a correlation of the brain activity, and it can only image at a very slow rate, approximately one image every 1 to 2 seconds. This doesn’t show any real-time brain activity because it’s way too slow. Instead, electroencephologram (eeg) is preferred to record the brain activity in real time because it can sample brain activity at 256 times per second, which provides the time resolution we need to accurately observe what the brain is doing in real time.
It gets better! Not only does this technology exist, it can be used to render a 3 dimensional image of your child’s brain activity, all the way down to deep internal structures such as the anterior cingulate cortex, a brain structure that is crucial in your child’s attention regulation. If you recall, I told you that I have seen 1000s of MRIs that did not show much of anything of interest in children unless they had a major abnormality or injury. In the case of ADHD, there are no major abnormalities in your child’s brain neuroanatomy that can be revealed with MRI, but there is a lot of information gleaned through assessing the brain activity through eeg. As you can imagine, children with ADHD often show excessively slow brain activity, particularly in the frontal lobes, and this can be verified through simple functional imaging techniques in a doctor’s office. This technique is called a quantitative eeg (qEEG). The qEEG can also provide additional information that can be used in the assessment. For example, you may already be familiar with executive function deficits being present in the majority of children with ADHD. Executive functions occur in the frontal lobes, and is reflected by underconnectivity between important hubs of the brain. A qEEG can easily image this, as well as the speed of neurotransmission between the hubs of the brain.
Our clients love qEEG brain imaging, because for the first time the areas of the brain that are causing their child’s difficulties with attentional control, impulsivity, hyperactivity, and executive functioning deficits, are right in front of them for them to see. They feel VALIDATED! They feel, for the first time, that all the problems they knew deep down inside that their child had is verified. After receiving so much advice from other parents, teachers, and professionals, that all you have to do is, “make a list for your child”, “tell them to stop being so lazy”, “try harder”, that all of that was all wrong. These “advice givers” were incorrect, and for the first time they can see that with the qEEG imaging that we provide. In simple terms, the qEEG identifies the areas that are lagging behind in your child’s brain, and these areas are the ones that are causing all the problems with attention, procrastination, low grades, impulsivity, and hyperactivity.
It gets even better, because now that you are armed with this information, you can use it to do something about it. This same technology can be used to design a customized brain exercise program for your child, so they can use their adaptive brain to make it stronger, faster, and more flexible. They can overcome their ADHD and reverse it by learning how to catch those areas up that were lagging behind, to the ones that are already optimized! How do we know this? We have seen this happen in 1000s of our clients over the past decade. We will get more into the intervention side of this later in this book, but the assessment of the brain functioning is one of the first steps to identifying the root problems, and you do this because you can do something about it so your child can overcome the problem.
Here is a helpful car analogy. So, let’s say your car wasn’t running well. It just can’t go as fast as it needs to on the freeway. In addition, the car has an oversized steering wheel so the steering feels loose. It doesn’t accelerate very well and it doesn’t break well. Impulsivity in a child is like having a Porsche 911 with bicycle brakes. Your child is high performing but they just can’t put on the brakes, so they may blurt things out of turn, have trouble waiting in line, or easily get sidetracked with the next “shiny object” in front of them. You know, they go to research their term paper online and the next thing you know they are playing video games on their computer. Hours later, and nothing done on their term paper, they are in the same place they started with nothing done again and they lost yet another day they could have been working on it.
Please join me on this thought experiment. Let’s say you can put in an additive in the gasoline to make your car run faster on the freeway. It is fairly fast acting and within an hour your car will be able to go the speed limit. Also, let’s say you could put in a different additive into the breaking fluid, so it breaks much better. Both of these additives last 4 to 6 hours, but then they wear off. The only problem is that you are a professional driver, and your day is 8 to 10 hours, so the additives begin to wear off, your car slows down, and you now have a breaking problem. This is not good because rush hour is coming and being able to stop is very important. Also getting up to speed is crucial so you can avoid car accidents. So here is a question for you, ”Would you use the additives to get through your day, 5 days a week, 8 to 10 hours a day?”, or “Would you take your car in and get it fixed the right way, with the best parts, so that it would perform and last a lifetime?”
The analogy above is very similar to your child taking medication for their symptoms of ADHD. While it can help in the short term and last 4 to 6 hours, it wears off. Moreover, when the medication wears off, your child is back to the same brain performance as it was without any medication, during homework time! Sure, at the last second, they can work extra hard and try to get it all done, but they can’t keep this up, so they rest, procrastinate, and the vicious cycle starts all over again. What’s worse, medication does nothing to improve your child’s development into the future. So if all they do is take medication, by the time they graduate high school or college, they have reached adulthood and have done nothing to overcome their ADHD, and they will suffer the consequences throughout their life.
Let’s say you do decide to use the additive for your car and you think things are going to workout well. Although the additive helps your car go faster and helps it brake better, you now discover that your car is handling poorly because it needs new shocks and tires. That’s a big problem because you need to take your car over bumpy roads that have curves, and snow is in the forecast, and there is no additive to make your shocks or tires perform better. The only way to overcome these problems is to upgrade the parts.
Similarly, there is no medication that exists in modern medicine to help your child overcome executive function problems that are a part of ADHD. Planning, organization, working memory (ability to hold information in mind and mentally manipulate it), medication does nothing to improve them. However, they are vital for your child’s success and functioning independently as they mature into middle school, high school, college, and beyond. Without proper interventions, your child’s executive functions will be behind their peers and never catch up. The idea that ADHD is a developmental delay is a bit of a misnomer, because it conveys that your child may someday “catch up” on their own. In reality, they will never catch up on their own. Unless you provide a way for them to overcome their ADHD and executive function problems, they will always struggle with it. Adults with executive function problems associated with their ADHD miss out on promotions, have trouble realizing their potential in college and their careers, and often have similar problems in their relationships.
There is good news, because you can help your child not only improve their attention and impulsivity, you can show them how to upgrade their executive functions as well. We have been showing parents how to help their children in this way for over a decade. Essentially, we identify the areas that are lagging behind and catch those areas up to the ones that are already optimized. This is the way your child can transform themselves and live their own limitless life. Realizing their potential without the barriers and roadblocks that are impeding their success.
Because you have made it this far in our book, we are offering you a free discovery call to see if our program is a good fit for you and your child. Please click on the following link to schedule your call today: https://www.abbeyneuropsychologyclinic.com/book-an-appointment/
Is Brain Training The Ultimate Growth Mindset Tool?
While some people are born with a naturally growth-oriented mindset, it is possible for others to develop this mindset through training and practice. Neuroscientists have long known that the human brain has an amazing capacity for change and growth. Michael Merzenich, a neuroscientist, spent his career studying how the brain changes in response to experience. His research showed that the brain is constantly growing and changing in response to the things we do and learn. This process is known as neuroplasticity. Merzenich’s work led him to develop the concept of brain training, which is based on the idea that we can improve our cognitive abilities by exercises that challenge and stretch our brains. Brain training has been shown to be effective in helping people with ADHD, and it is now being used to help people of all ages improve their cognitive skills. Merzenich’s work has shown that the brain is capable of amazing feats of growth and change, and that we can harness this power to improve our lives.
According to another study published in the journal Nature, brain training can help to improve symptoms of ADHD and other learning disorders. The study was conducted by a team of researchers led by Torkel Klingberg, a professor of cognitive neuroscience at Karolinska Institutet in Sweden and a friend and colleague of ours. We have met with Dr. Klingberg over the years and we have used his programs as a part of our program to help children improve their attentional control and working memory. He completed his Ph.D. across the street at Stanford and has conducted numerous research projects at the Karolinska Institute, which is a very well-known and prestigious research center in Sweden.
Dr. Klingberg and his team used a brain-training game to test the effects of training on a group of children with ADHD. The game was designed to improve working memory, and the researchers found that it helped to reduce symptoms of ADHD in the children who played it. In addition, the team found that the brain-training game improved working memory and attentional control in a group of healthy children as well. These findings suggest that brain training can help to improve symptoms of ADHD, and this program is a part of our Limitless Life Transformative System when work with us. Another study published in the journal Nature found that a brain-training game helped improve working memory and fluid intelligence. The study was conducted by a team of researchers led by Adrian Dove, a professor of psychology at the University of South Wales in Australia. These findings suggest that brain training can help reduce the symptoms of ADHD and increase their intelligence in your child too.
How Can You Start Brain Training For Your Child To Develop A Growth Mindset
Many people believe that they are stuck with the intelligence level they were born with and that there is nothing they can do to overcome their ADHD without the use of medications. This is not true! You can provide powerful cognitive training for your child to train their brain to get smarter and overcome ADHD. This is called growth mindset training. Growth mindset training can help your child become better at problem solving, decision making, and memory recall. It can also help them develop new skills and improve their focus and concentration. If your child has ADHD, growth mindset training can be particularly beneficial. Ken Gibson, a friend and colleague of ours, and a leading expert on growth mindset training, has developed a program that is specifically designed to help people with ADHD. His program includes exercises that help to retrain the brain and improve cognitive functioning. Growth mindset training can be an extremely effective way to improve your child’s mental skills and intelligence. If you are willing to put in the effort, you can see significant improvements in your child’s cognitive abilities. These programs are included in our Limitless Life Transformative System.
Can My Child Improve Their Processing Speed With Brain Training?
Many of us would like to increase our processing speed. After all, who wouldn’t want to be able to think faster and be more productive? The good news is that there are several ways your child can improve their processing speed. Through the process of brain training, your child can learn to use their brains more efficiently. One way they can do this is by learning to recruit more areas of their brains to solve problems. The more they can use their whole brain, the easier and quicker it will be to get their work done. Moreover, they can learn how to develop better strategies, improve their planning and organization skills, and increase their grit, which will help them power through the work that they do not find intrinsically interesting. All these factors can result in more efficient, faster processing, so you and your child have more time to do other things you enjoy, such as time to be a kid and play, and time for you to spend with your other children, friends, and family. We routinely help parents show their children how to increase their processing speed as a part of our program.
How Can My Child Improve Their Attention Through Brain Training
Brain training exercises can improve attention and focus in children with ADHD, according to numerous studies and our own experience with our clients. Researchers have found that children who completed brain training exercises saw a significant improvement in their ability to focus and pay attention, compared to those who did not complete the exercises. The brain training exercises specifically targeted the executive functioning skills of planning, sequencing, and inhibitory control. These skills are known to be impaired in children with ADHD. The study shows that brain training can improve these skills and help children with ADHD to better focus and pay attention.
Our system takes a multimodal approach to improving your child’s attention and focus. We identify the specific areas of your child’s brain that are lagging behind, and we show you how to catch those areas up to the ones that are already optimized in multiple modalities that best fits your child’s needs. That way they increase their attention span to their maximum potential.
Why Is Attention So Important?
Attention is defined as the cognitive process of selectively concentrating on a particular aspect of the environment while ignoring other stimuli. That is, attention allows us to focus on specific features of our environment while ignoring others. Attention also plays an important role in learning and memory by helping us to encode, or register, new information into our memory. Children with ADHD often have difficulty with attention because they have difficulty filtering out irrelevant stimuli and focus on task-relevant stimuli. As a result, they may have difficulty paying attention in class, following instructions, and completing tasks.
The Neuroanatomy Of Attentio
The neuroanatomy of attention refers to the structures in the brain that are involved in attentional processes. These attentional processes include both bottom-up and top-down processing. Bottom-up processing is when attention is drawn to a stimulus due to its intrinsic features (e.g., brightness, loudness, etc.). Top-down processing is when attention is under voluntary control and is focused on a particular stimulus or task. The neuroanatomy of attention includes several key brain regions, such as the prefrontal cortex, posterior parietal cortex, thalamus, and cerebellum. Each of these regions has been shown to be important for attentional processes. For example, the prefrontal cortex is involved in attentional control, while the posterior parietal cortex is involved in attentional selection. The thalamus is also important for attention, as it provides input to the cortex from sensory modalities (e.g., vision, audition, touch). Together, these brain regions work together to allow us to focus our attention on the stimuli and tasks that are most important to us. The cerebellum is classically understood to be important for motor control, but recent evidence suggests that it plays a role in attention as well. Neuroimaging studies have found that the cerebellum is active during attention-demanding tasks, and lesion studies have shown that damage to the cerebellum can lead to attention deficits. Furthermore, the cerebellum is anatomically connected to attention-related regions of the brain, such as the prefrontal cortex. These findings suggest that the cerebellum may contribute to attention by modulating activity in other attention-related brain regions.
The Benefits Of Understanding The Neuroanatomy Of Attention
Understanding the neuroanatomy of attention allows us to assess and develop a specific Limitless Life Transformative System for your child so that they can use their own internal resources to overcome their symptoms of ADHD with the help of our trainers.
How To Improve Your Child's Functional Neuroanatomy
The most comprehensive approach is one that we offer at our center. We have spent the past 15 years traveling the country, meeting with experts, reading and researching 1000s of articles, to perfect this system. To our knowledge, we are the only center to take such a comprehensive, and thorough approach to helping children transform their skills and abilities at the source, so that they will realize their fullest potential. Our program shows your child how to build their brain from the bottom up with their own internal resources. That is, from the level of the neuron and their connections. Their neurons are connected through their axons, it’s like a super highway. When your child builds their attention and executive function networks, their entire system will run more efficiently and their abilities will be elevated. It’s as though they took their existing 2-lane highways in their brain, and made them 6 lane super highways with a more complex interhemispheric system of networks in their brain. Thus, they provide themselves with a strong foundation upon which to build important cognitive skills that underlie their performance.
Once the foundation is laid, your child has the grit and strength necessary to grow their brain even further, taking their growth mindset to its full potential. They work with our trainers to stretch their minds further than you ever thought could be possible, expanding their working memory, attentional control, ability to initiate and follow through on their projects. All the things that used to make you scratch your head, wondering why they wouldn’t just, “stay organized, get their homework done efficiently instead of argue about it, do their homework begrudgingly instead of just power through it”, comes together. Suddenly, it occurs to you. You haven’t had to ask them to get started on their homework anymore. They come home from school and just do it on their own. You find yourself focusing on your other children and the things that are important in your life, like attending their activities or socializing with your friends. The constant worrying about your child all the time vanishes, and your mind is freed up. You are happy again and excited about their future, your future, and you now get how life didn’t need to be so hard for you and your child. Like nearly every client that we have ever seen, you think to yourself, “Why didn’t I know about this sooner.”
Neurofeedback
Neurofeedback is an amazing intervention for attention-deficit/ hyperactivity disorder (ADHD) that has been found to improve symptoms of ADHD and executive functioning. There have been 1000s of studies that have shown the efficacy of neurofeedback for the treatment of ADHD. Many of them have investigated the effects of neurofeedback on the attention network and brain regions including the prefrontal cortex, posterior cortex, thalamus, and the cerebellum. For example, in one study, participants with ADHD underwent neurofeedback training using a cognitive task involving either the prefrontal cortex or posterior cortex. The results showed that neurofeedback increased fronto-parietal coherence, and improved cognitive performance. Another study found that neurofeedback was associated with changes in the thalamus, which is involved in regulating attention and alertness. These findings suggest that neurofeedback can improve attention networks by influencing activity in specific brain regions including the prefrontal cortex, posterior cortex, thalamus, and the cerebellum. Neurofeedback is an important part of our Limitless Life Transformative System in transforming the lives of children with ADHD so they can thrive!
Cognitive Skills Training For ADHD
It’s like your child is a lamborghini but was taught to drive it like a Ford Escort. Cognitive skills will help teach your child how to drive their high performance car (themselves) like it was intended!
I first discovered cognitive skills training by accident during my work in numerous adult hospitals. Common recommendations for adults experiencing cognitive decline was to keep their minds as active as possible, and do crossword puzzles and Sudoku. I thought that may be helpful, but there must be more we could recommend for them. As I continued to work with children, I noticed that some of them were extremely good at certain portions of the neuropsychological tests I administered to them. For example, some children were excellent at visual spatial reasoning tasks such as complex block designs. When I asked them what they like to do in their free time, many of them told me that they enjoyed Legos, Rubik’s Cube, and art. So I looked into the possibilities of intentionally training various aspects of the brain. To my surprise, there were training programs that already existed.
Cognitive skills training is an excellent way to impact both the neurons and the underpinnings of higher order cognitive functioning. It can be conceptualized as being in between the Bottom Up and Top Down approaches. Cognitive skills training impacts the neurons through doing intensive exercises that are meant to increase both the neuropsychological skills as well as their neurons and networks. What we know about cognitive skills training is that they need to be intensive for an adequate amount of time, adaptive by adjusting in intensity, and done over a long enough period of time to have an impact. For your child to do cognitive skills training, the right amount of intensity should be given. This intensity should stretch their abilities and give them a reasonable level of success. This “just right” space is best done by a qualified trainer, who can work with your child to push them into an area of discomfort to help them grow their cognitive abilities, but not too intensely where they get frustrated and want to quit. By holding your child in this space of intensity, it provides them with the challenges they need to further impact their cognitive skills development. Doing sessions over time will improve your child’s ability to focus, divide their attention, and improve their executive functioning.
Studies have shown that your child can improve their cognitive skills in numerous areas. One study found that cognitive skills training led to increased activity in the prefrontal cortex, posterior cortex, thalamus, and cerebellum—all regions associated with attention and cognitive function. The study also found that cognitive skills training significantly improved participants’ performance on tests of attention. Another study found that cognitive skills training improved participants’ performance on measures of executive function, working memory, and processing speed—all cognitive functions associated with the prefrontal cortex. These studies suggest that cognitive skills training can have a positive effect on the brain regions responsible for attention and cognition. Furthermore, these studies suggest that cognitive skills training could be an effective intervention for improving cognitive function in individuals with attention deficits and executive functioning weaknesses.
How Can Brain Training Improve My Child’s Executive Functions?
Executive functioning skills are important for children to develop in order to succeed in school and in life. These skills include planning, organization, time management, and working memory. Deficits in executive functioning can lead to problems with academic performance, social skills, and emotional regulation. Cognitive skills exercises help to improve the brain’s flexibility and efficiency in processing information. As a result, children who undergo this type of brain training often see improvements in their executive functioning skills. In addition, brain training is non-invasive and has few side effects, making it a safe and appealing treatment option for children with executive functioning deficits.
How Your Child’s Functional Neuroanatomy Of Social Skills Can Be Improved
Most people would agree that social skills are important, and many children with ADHD have challenges making friends, keeping them, and forming deep relationships. The ability to get along with other people is key to success in many areas of life. But what most people don’t realize is that social skills are actually a product of our neuroanatomy, and children with ADHD often struggle socially. That means that the way our brains are wired can affect our ability to interact with others. And fortunately, it’s possible to improve our social skills by training our brains in the right ways. In this section, we will explore three brain regions that are important for social skills and discuss how they can be improved through our program.
The frontal cortex, temporal lobe, and cerebellum are three brain regions that are important for social skills. The frontal lobes are integral to social functioning. They are responsible for governing basic social skills, such as understanding others’ perspectives and emotions, forming relationships, and controlling impulses.Without the frontal lobes, we would be unable to interact with others in a meaningful way. Damage to the frontal lobes can therefore lead to social difficulties, such as difficulty forming attachments and problems with self-control. Frontal lobe injuries are also associated with an increased risk of aggression and violence. Fortunately, the frontal lobes are highly resilient and adaptable, and even people with severe frontal lobe damage can often learn to develop new social skills. In short, the frontal lobes play a vital role in our ability to interact with others, and any damage to this area of the brain can have far-reaching consequences for social functioning.
The temporal cortex is a region of the brain that is located near the ear. It plays an important role in social functioning, as it is involved in the processing of spoken language and facial expressions. Damage to the temporal cortex can therefore lead to social deficits, such as difficulty understanding communication and interpreting emotions. The temporal cortex is also thought to be involved in self-awareness and theory of mind, which are essential for social cognition. In addition, the temporal cortex is thought to play a role in social bonding and attachment, as it is involved in the processing of social cues such as smell, touch, and facial expressions. Taken together, these findings suggest that the temporal cortex makes a significant contribution to social functioning.
The cerebellum is a small, round structure located at the back of the brain. Although it makes up only about 10 percent of the brain’s volume, it contains nearly 50 percent of its neurons. The cerebellum is important for motor skills such as balance and coordination, but recent research has shown that it also plays a vital role in social functioning. For example, the cerebellum is involved in processing emotions and regulating social behavior. People with damage to the cerebellum often have difficulty reading nonverbal cues such as facial expressions and body language. This can lead to problems with social interactions, such as misinterpreting someone’s tone of voice or being unable to tell when someone is joking. The cerebellum is also involved in theory of mind, which is the ability to understand other people’s thoughts and intentions. Individuals with cerebellar damage often have difficulty understanding that other people have their own beliefs, desires, and perspectives. This can make it hard to predict how others will behave or respond in a given situation. Together, these findings suggest that the cerebellum makes an important contribution to social functioning. Without it, we would have trouble understanding and interacting with other people.
The frontal cortex, temporal cortex, and cerebellum are all important for social skills. The frontal cortex is responsible for governing basic social skills, such as understanding others’ perspectives and emotions, forming relationships, and controlling impulses. The temporal cortex is involved in the processing of spoken language and facial expressions, while the cerebellum is involved in processing emotions and regulating social behavior. Damage to any of these areas can lead to social deficits. However, each area is also highly resilient and adaptable, so even people with severe damage can often learn new social skills. In short, these three brain regions play a vital role in our ability to interact with others socially.
Our Limitless Life Transformative System identifies the areas in your child that may be lagging behind and causing some of their social struggles. We can train the frontal cortex, temporal cortex, and cerebellum directly, and follow up with our cognitive skills training, which includes virtual reality and other fun modalities for your child.
What Are Some Of The Best Brain Training Exercises
The brain is an amazing organ that has the ability to adapt and change based on its environment. This is what we call brain plasticity. Brain training exercises are designed to take advantage of brain plasticity to improve cognitive skills. The best brain training exercises are those that are based in neuroscience, are long enough in duration, done frequently enough, and are challenging to your child.
Your child should be taught by a cognitive brain trainer who has experience, and will push them outside of their comfort zone. They will develop grit and learn how to stretch and grow their brain. Their brain training program should use their comprehensive neuropsychological assessment to target the areas they would benefit most from working on. Whether they work on working memory, focused attention, divided attention, executive functioning, should all be determined by a trained clinician. By doing brain training exercises regularly, your child can improve their cognitive skills and reach their full potential.
We met with experts, read 1000s of journal articles, and tested out numerous brain training programs, and took the best of what the programs had to offer and put them all together so we can provide individualized programs for your child. We then combine our brain training exercises with deep learning and training through neurofeedback, so that it all works together. This provides the ultimate outcome for your child, as they are working through a system that was created specifically for them.
How Often Should You Do Brain Training Exercises
Brain training exercises are becoming increasingly popular as people look for ways to improve their cognitive function. But how often should you do brain training exercises in order to see results? The answer depends on the method you use. Some brain training programs require that they be done intensively, such as 3 to 5 times per week, for 25 to 30 minutes, for approximately 8 weeks. Other cognitive skills training programs require 2 to 3 times per week for about 25 to 30 minute sessions.
What we have found is that when your child combines neurofeedback and cognitive skills training, their training is more effective. The reason is because your child can put forth more effort into the exercises and therefore get more out of them. Think of it this way. Neurofeedback is like improving the hardware of a computer, like upgrading the RAM or the processing chip. Cognitive skills training is like upgrading the software. So doing both neurofeedback and cognitive skills training work very well together.
What Are Some Of The Challenges Associated With Brain Training
Brain training exercises are designed to improve cognitive function, but they must be performed frequently to be effective. This can be a challenge for busy people who find it difficult to dedicate time to brain training on a regular basis. It is also difficult to push oneself during brain training exercises, as they can be challenging and mentally fatiguing. Children often may lack the motivation or focus necessary to complete brain training exercises consistently. For these reasons, brain training is best performed under the guidance of a trained professional who can design a customized program and provide support and accountability. Professionals can also help ensure that brain training exercises are tailored to the needs of each individual and are performed with enough frequency to be effective. Moreover, our programs are done in the comfort of your home and they are fun. If your child likes to watch movies or Youtube videos, and if they enjoy playing video games or virtual reality, they can easily get immersed in our programs and reap the benefits, transforming their lives forever to realize their dreams!
Can I Improve My Intelligence Through Brain Training
This is absolutely possible, and many of our clients have improved their intelligence through our programs verified by follow-up testing after the training was completed, and again 2 to 3 years later. The Wechlser IQ scale is the most common scale used to measure intelligence in children and is the most widely used scale in schools and by neuropsychologists. It is composed of 4 main components that include verbal intelligence, nonverbal intelligence, working memory, and processing speed. Children with ADHD most commonly show areas of weakness in working memory and processing speed. Working memory, the ability to hold information in mind and mentally manipulate it, has a very high correlation with ADHD. Specifically, working memory tends to be 1 to 2 standard deviations lower than overall measured intelligence. The good news is that our skilled professionals can coach and train your child how to improve their working memory, permanently.
Processing speed is also a factor that is often identified as a relative weakness in children who have ADHD. You probably have observed this in your child. They may demonstrate inefficiencies in their work, there may be delays in formulating their answers, their brains don’t keep up with their actions as you observed them acting out impulsively. It may take them an hour to do a 15 minute assignment. Fortunately, processing speed weaknesses are reflected in their brain functioning, and as we stated above, there are plenty of techniques that, when combined together, will help them increase their processing speed.
So if all you did for your child is increase their working memory and processing speed, both of which are well-documented in the literature, then their overall intelligence score would increase. It’s really that simple.
While increasing nonverbal intelligence is a bit more challenging, it is not only possible but we have seen this in our clients as well. In order to solve complex, nonverbal problems, your child must hold all the information in their mind and consider and decide the best answer. Increasing working memory will give them a bigger mental chalkboard to hold the information, mentally manipulate it, and to solve higher level problems. They have also developed more grit and strength as a result of training, so they are able to push themselves through more challenging problems and stick with it until they derive the best answer. In an IQ test, children will hit a ceiling after getting a certain number of questions incorrect in a row. For a child with ADHD, this may result in underestimating their true intelligence, because perhaps they gave up and couldn’t push themselves hard enough to solve problems that are within their ability intellectually. Moreover, improving their impulse control will prevent them from impulsively picking answers that are almost but not quite correct, so they can review all of the options and pick the best one. Training is also provided for solving nonverbal complex problems. Children are taught to generate multiple solutions, to think outside the box, and given tools to think sharper so they can process visual information at even higher levels.
One of our students came to us with ADHD and significant learning difficulties after working with tutors for several years. She was very shy and had almost given up on school. She felt it was something she just wasn’t good at. She was mainly a C and D student, even with receiving a lot of help from parents and tutors. Her parents were driven to provide the best for their daughter and came to us as a referral from her learning specialist. They were very good at keeping their appointments and she worked diligently during sessions. She started from the bottom up, strengthening her neurons and speeding up their connections. She then added another layer of cognitive skills building, and optimized her attentional control, working memory, and executive functioning. Going through exercises to expand her ability to apply these stronger functions was challenging and fun for her. She worked one-on-one with our team and really stretched her higher level thinking. Her processing speed improved, she was gaining confidence, she loved playing with complex information and thinking outside the box. She started to love learning again and it showed.
I will never forget a story that she and her mother told me. One day, she was in class, and they were asked to solve a complex problem. Although she had a different answer than all of the other students, she raised her hand with confidence. She was thinking outside the box. When she revealed her own solution to the problem, the teachers and students paused, she was correct, but her answer was different. She was commended by all of them and she was really proud of herself. When they told me this story her mother was beaming with pride and joy. We all knew there was so much inside of her that she had to offer, and she was doing it! Later, she transferred to public school and did amazingly well. I caught up with her mother recently and she was doing very well in college. As a reminder, prior to working with us, nearly everyone, except for her parents, doubted that she could attend college successfully. They thought that maybe she would do okay at a junior college. Almost everyone was wrong about her. Not her parents, they didn’t give up, they did everything they could for her future by providing our Limitless Life Transformative System for her. They are her superheroes!
Students like her are exactly why we do what we do. It drives our entire team to jump out of bed each morning and help out these young people. It’s not about passing their class or helping them short term. This is their life, their future, they deserve the best life that we can give them, and so we do, and so their parents do, and the hard work that these young people put forth in our program pays dividends throughout their life. And we have no doubt that they are affecting so many others that touch their lives as well. Pay it forward indeed. Pay it forward to your child. It blows me away what children can do when given the opportunity. While I sit and write this, so many of our past clients run through my mind. I wish you could see all the amazing things children have shown and taught me. They have dramatically changed what I thought was possible, because they have done it before my eyes. I hope that we can help so many others. This is our life’s work and it is so important to so many.
What Is The Future Of Brain Training?
Are there any skeptics who believe that brain training isn’t all it’s cracked up to be? If so, what are their arguments against it? While brain training and neurofeedback have shown promise in improving cognitive function, there are still some skeptics who aren’t convinced that it’s all it’s cracked up to be. One argument against brain training is that the improvements seen in studies may not be transferable to real-world situations. That’s why it is critical to work with professionals who have a lot of experience in brain training. A system that includes brain training as a part of a larger program should include ways in which your child will learn to generalize their new skills and apply them to their everyday lives. We call this phase the generalization phase, in which your child would learn to use and apply their new skills. It’s a part of all of our programs so your child can realize their improvements where it matters most.
Another argument against brain training is that it may only provide short-term benefits. One study found that while brain training improved participants’ performance on cognitive tests immediately after training, the benefits were not evident six months later. The reason for these temporary gains is simple. They didn’t train long enough and their programs were nowhere near as comprehensive as they needed to be. Depth and breadth is key! We have found that our Limitless Life Transformative System provides the depth and breadth of training required to make improvements that last a lifetime. That’s because we start from the bottom up, helping your child improve their brain energy, connectivity, and processing speed in their attention and executive function networks. By adding cognitive skills and generalization training, your child not only maintains their gains, but many of them continue to improve on a new developmental trajectory. Growing at a pace that is in alignment with their other neurocognitive skills.
What Does The Future Hold For Brain Training?
In the future, brain training will be done as prevention and will help children circumvent adhd all together. Rather than guessing about your child’s development of their brain, doctors will use qEEG brain maps and neuropsychological assessments to determine if your child is developing optimally, and will provide brain training as a part of their health and development plan to help them be the best version of themselves. Our society has taken a similar approach to exercise for the body. We all know that our children should be getting plenty of daily exercise for them to be healthy and develop well. This will be common knowledge for your child’s brain development as well into the future. Exercising the brain will start at early ages and be done across the lifespan, just like many of us do for our bodies today. Most people would find it ridiculous to wait until we are 65 after our first heart attack to suddenly realize that exercising our body may be a good idea to prevent a future heart attack. Instead, we all know and realize that exercise is best done from an early age across the lifespan. Our children will very likely live to be over 100 years old. Many centurions today have relatively healthy bodies, but the vast majority of them have experienced a significant decline in their cognitive functioning. When your child experiences brain training and cognitive skills training as a child, they will be more likely to do it as an adult, and they will therefore likely age well in both their body and their brain.
But I Don’t Have The Time Or Money
First, let’s get right to the issue about time and expense and start with a helpful analogy. There are many car lovers in the world, but if cars are not your thing, you can insert your favorite prized possession and walk through this analogy. Let’s say your 1966 classic Ford Mustang car, the one you have taken care of for 20 years, was in a slight fender bender. You went out of your way and parked it furthest away from the store, and when you left it there, nobody was near you. Well, you return to your car and sure enough, someone bumped into your car and now you have a dent and a punctured radiator. Well, you have insurance, so you bring it to Bill, who has a custom garage and has serviced your Mustang since you have owned it. The good news is that Bill says he can repair it with original parts and make it just like it was before the accident. The bad news is that the insurance company will only pay for off-brand parts that aren’t even made by Ford. What’s more, you know the radiator that the insurance company will pay for is known for breaking down and will probably only last for 5 years before it starts leaking, which could then cause problems with your engine if it overheats. So what do you do? Do you go with the original parts and pay for them yourself? Or do you let the insurance company dictate your choices for you, allowing them to use the cheap parts that you feel will devalue your car and won’t last very long?
Being the car lover you are, it would be blasphemy to allow those cheap parts to be used to repair your car. You wont allow that insurance company to cheapen your prized possession, and you make an investment in your car and pay Bill the extra money to repair it the right way because it will retain its value and it will last like it was meant to when it was originally built.
Now, let’s apply this analogy to your child’s situation and the treatments that are available. Most insurance companies will pay for a 30 minute “assessment” done by a professional and then will pay for a portion of stimulant medication if your child is diagnosed with ADHD. However, you know that stimulant medication only works when it is in your child’s system and there is otherwise no therapeutic value. Put another way, when the medication is out of your child’s system several hours after they take it, the therapy is gone. It vanishes. There is no medication that your child can take that will “cure” their ADHD, or that will make them better when they don’t take it or it’s no longer in their system. However, from the insurance company’s standpoint, it is the cheapest solution in the short term, and quite frankly the long term, because most children who have ADHD only take medication consistently for 1 to 2 years, so the insurance companies no longer have to pay for their medication. Even if they did take it consistently until college, the majority of young adults either forget to take it on a daily basis, or they quit taking it all together because they don’t like the way it makes them feel. They complain that it “dulls” their personality, that they are not their “vibrant selves”, and their friends don’t find them to be as fun as they are without medication. They also complain that it makes them feel jittery and more anxious. It reduces their appetite and some find it hard to gain weight. Others have problems with sleep and insomnia. Unfortunately, sleep is when our memories are consolidated into long term memory. So, if your child is having trouble sleeping due to their stimulant medication, they will not remember what they are studying as well due to their lack of sleep. Unfortunately, they are cutting short the brain’s processing of what they learned that day, and so they will have to work even harder to learn and remember the material, and the vicious cycle snowballs out of control over and over.
The other option is to identify the root problem and then treat it accordingly. We identify the areas of your child’s brain that are lagging behind the ones that are already optimized through our assessment. This is important, because the areas that are lagging behind are the ones that are causing all the problems that you see, and the ones that your child is experiencing. We then customize your child’s program, so you can provide a way for them to catch up those areas that are lagging behind, to those that are already optimized. This is the way to help your child reverse their ADHD! This is how they can live their own limitless life without the barriers that are holding them back due to their ADHD.
If you are interested in providing this for your child, click on the following link and schedule a discovery call with us today to see if your child may be a good fit for our Limitless Life Transformative System https://www.abbeyneuropsychologyclinic.com/book-an-appointment/
Helpful Tips in Navigating Your Child’s ADHD in School and Life
The 504 Plan
A 504 Plan, also known as a Section 504 Plan, is a legal document that ensures students with disabilities are given accommodations in order to receive an equal education. The plan is created through a meeting between parents, educators, and the student (if they are old enough). It can include things like extended time on tests, assistive technology, and modifications to the curriculum.
What Is A 504 Plan And What Does It Include?
The 504 plan includes provisions for modifications to the classroom, curriculum, and other aspects of the school environment. It also outlines how the school will ensure that the student has access to the same resources and services as other students. The goal of a 504 plan is to provide a level playing field so that all students can succeed. While 504 plans are often used for students with physical or mental health conditions, they can be used for any student who has a disability that impacts their ability to learn. If you think your child may benefit from a 504 plan, talk to their teacher or school administrator about your options.
How To Get A 504 Plan For Your Child
504 Plans are individualized, and the specific accommodations and services will be based on the results of a comprehensive neuropsychological evaluation. The first step in getting a 504 Plan for your child is to have them assessed by a qualified professional. The testing will provide a diagnosis and will outline what your child needs to do well in school, including a detailed list of accommodations and recommendations for the school to implement. Your school is required to consider these recommendations when making a 504 Plan for your child.
The Benefits Of Having A 504 Plan
Individuals with Disabilities Education Act (IDEA) requires that schools provide a free and appropriate education (FAPE) to all students with disabilities. In order to receive FAPE, schools must develop an IEP for each eligible student. An IEP is a document that details the student’s educational goals and the services and accommodations that will be provided in order to help them achieve those goals. 504 plans are similar to IEPs, but they are designed for students who do not qualify for special education services.
How To Help Your Child Succeed With Their 504 Plan
Your child’s 504 plan will help them succeed because it will provide the teachers with common recommendations and accommodations. Preferential seating helps your child focus and concentrate because their location in the classroom is designed to minimize distractions. Extra time on tests will allow your child to demonstrate their knowledge rather than being penalized for working inefficiently due to their attentional control problems. It gives them time to re-read, check for errors, and refocus when they have become distracted. Without these accommodations, they may be unfairly penalized for not being able to complete the test within time limits and thereby not given the opportunity to demonstrate their knowledge because they weren’t able to finish the exam. Another helpful accommodation is for your child’s teachers to ask your child to repeat instructions to ensure that they know what is required of them for assignments.
Accommodations For Entrance Exams And Standardized Tests
If your child has been diagnosed with ADHD, it is important to be aware of the accommodations that are available to them for standardized testing. Many students with ADHD struggle with taking timed tests, so extra time may be an accommodation that is included in their 504 plan. This extra time can make a big difference on high stakes exams like the SAT and ACT, where every point counts. It is important to get your child’s diagnosis as early as possible so that you can start advocating for the accommodations they need. When they reach the end of high school, it becomes more difficult to get these accommodations approved for college entrance exams if they have no track record of ever needing them or using them. Having your school document these accommodations in your child’s 504 plan and documenting ways in which it has helped them show their knowledge can go a long way in getting extra time and other accommodations for standardized tests. Put another way, if your child has never been granted or used extra time or other accommodations leading up to the SAT/ACT, then the college testing board can only wonder why they are asking for these accommodations now if they have never used or needed them before. They are weary of parents and children attempting to gain an unfair advantage over other students. So if you want your child to have the best chance of success by getting them necessary accommodations on these exams due to their symptoms of ADHD, it is important to start the process early and keep good records.
Individualized Education Program (IEP)
An IEP, or Individualized Education Program, is a document that is created for students with learning disabilities or other special needs. The IEP outlines the student’s strengths and weaknesses, as well as the goals and objectives that have been developed specifically for them. It is important to note that an IEP is not a one-size-fits-all document; rather, it is individually tailored to meet the unique needs of each student. In addition to the IEP itself, there may also be an IEP team consisting of the student’s parent or guardian, teachers, school administrators, and/or other professionals who are involved in the student’s education. The IEP team works together to develop an appropriate plan of action for the student.
There are several challenges when going through the process of determining if your child qualifies for an IEP. The majority psychoeducational assessments performed by schools are administered by school psychologists. You should know that the majority of school psychologists do not have a Ph.D., they have a masters degree without a license. They therefore did not receive the necessary training nor do they have the credentials to diagnose your child with ADHD, even if they had it. Let me say that again. If you ask your school to assess your child and it is done by a school psychologist that does not possess an appropriate license and training, they will not be able to give your child the appropriate tests and they aren’t even allowed to diagnose your child with ADHD. It is beyond the scope of their practice. Rather, school psychologists are trained to identify basic learning disabilities. They operate on a discrepancy model. There are two criteria that they look for when assessing your child for a learning disability. First, your child must perform significantly below the average range in math, reading, or writing. If they do not, they will not qualify for an IEP or interventions. Second, their scores must be at least 1.5 standard deviations below their measured IQ. Unfortunately, these discrepancies often create false negatives and many children go unidentified and do not get the help they need at school. For example, if your child has an above average IQ, and they score 2 standard deviations below in reading, writing, or math with scores falling in the low average range, the school would falsely conclude that your child does not have a learning disorder and they would not qualify for services. This is because even though they exceed the 1.5 standard deviation discrepancy, their academic scores are not low enough to warrant interventions. However, what is being ignored is that your child is performing far below expectations for their own abilities. Unfortunately, the school decides that they are “not failure enough” and so they fail to give them the interventions they so desperately need.
Considering these factors, you may want to consider having your child assessed by a qualified, licensed professional, who has a lot of experience with neuropsychological testing and diagnosing children with ADHD and learning disabilities. Their license provides them with the necessary credentials to diagnose your child with ADHD, and these professionals are also not bound by arbitrary rules that they school officials must follow. Thus, they can diagnose your child with ADHD if they have it, and learning disorders if their performance warrants it, even if their performance is not below average. What’s important is to identify conditions as soon as they can be detected, because early intervention is the key to the best prognosis. The earlier you provide helpful interventions, the more likely your child is to perform to their best ability. So, if you feel that your child may have ADHD, bring them to a professional outside of school that is well-versed in neuropsychological testing for children. Your school will not be able to answer this question unless they have an extremely rare situation in which they have a licensed mental health professional on staff. If they do, it is extremely unlikely that they have the depth and breadth of testing materials necessary to detect an attention problem if your child has it, and it becomes even more challenging to detect ADHD the older they are and more intelligent they are. It really requires someone who has the expertise to look at patterns of scores across a series of sensitive tests. This falls within the specialty of neuropsychological testing.
It’s Never Too Late To Discover ADHD Or Seek A Diagnosis
It’s never too late to be diagnosed with ADH. Many people think that adhd is a childhood condition that can be outgrown, but this is not the case. adhd can occur in both children and adults, and the symptoms can vary depending on the individual. Some people with ADHD may have problems with concentration and focus, while others may experience hyperactivity and impulsive behavior. ADHD can also affect a person’s ability to control their emotions and impulsivity. However, it is important to remember that ADHD is a disorder that can be managed with treatment. If you or someone you know is experiencing symptoms of ADHD, it is important to seek professional help. Early diagnosis and treatment can make a big difference in managing the symptoms of ADHD. Even if you are diagnosed as an adult, ADHD can still be effectively managed. Getting the diagnosis is the first step in getting the help you need to manage your ADHD.
a. As A Young Child…
Early diagnosis and intervention is critical for children with ADHD. By identifying the signs and symptoms early on, you can get your child the help they need to reverse and overcome the condition. Untreated ADHD can lead to academic problems, increased acting out, and social difficulties. ADHD can also lead to low self-esteem, anxiety, and depression. Getting your child help as soon as possible can prevent these problems from occurring or worsening. ADHD is treatable, and the sooner you get your child help, the better their prognosis will be. If you think your child may have ADHD, talk to your pediatrician or a mental health professional about getting them evaluated. Evidence-based treatments included in our Limitless Life Transformative System can help your child effectively overcome and reverse their symptoms and lead a happy and successful life.
b. As A Young Adult…
ADHD is a condition that often occurs in childhood, but can also affect adults. For many people with ADHD, the condition is not diagnosed until they are adults. There are several reasons why ADHD may not be diagnosed in childhood. First, the symptoms of ADHD can be easily mistaken for other conditions, such as anxiety or depression. Second, ADHD can be difficult to diagnose because it occurs on a spectrum. Some people with ADHD have mild symptoms that don’t significantly impact their lives, while others have more severe symptoms that make it difficult to function in everyday life. The problem though is that at some point, when the bar is raised high enough, your child’s ADHD will cause them to significantly struggle in many aspects of their life. We have seen young people with ADHD do quite well, but then come to see us because they attended a university in which the other students were very bright like they were, but their classmates did not have ADHD. So, the 3-5 page paper that they used to write the night before the assignment was due in high school, becomes a 10-20 page term paper in college. Their classmates work on the paper all semester, but it becomes impossible for your child to write the 20 page paper overnight and produce the same level of quality that their peers produce. We have also frequently seen the situation in which a young person mildly affected by their ADHD now has trouble passing important exams, such as the bar exam, medical board exams, or MCAT and GRE. Although they have completed all their studies, got an advanced medical, law, or business degree, they are unable to pass their credentialing or licensing exams. Unfortunately, young adults are often unwilling to complete our Limitless Life Transformation System. They tend to be “too busy” or just have had so many negative experiences, they don’t want to mess with it. They give up, are unhappy, and end up not getting the help they so desperately need. The good news is that so far, 100% of the individuals who have come to us with such problems, who have completed our Limitless Life Transformative Program, have passed the bar, medical board exams, or achieved high scores on the MCAT or GRE to achieve their academic and career goals. It can be done at this age, but you need an unusually motivated 20 something. It is much, much easier to help them at younger ages when you have more influence over their activities and daily lives.
Finally, ADHD is often under-recognized in girls and women, who are more likely to exhibit ADHD symptoms that are less commonly associated with the condition, such as anxiety and low self-esteem. If you suspect that you or someone you know may have ADHD, it is important to seek assessment and diagnosis from a qualified professional. A diagnosis of ADHD can be life-changing, providing your child with the tools and the support they need to overcome their symptoms and lead productive lives.
c. As A Middle-Aged Adult…
ADHD is a common neurodevelopmental disorder that can often go undiagnosed into adulthood. There are many reasons why an adult might seek a diagnosis of ADHD. Perhaps they have always felt that they didn’t quite fit in or that they were unable to meet the expectations of others. Or maybe they began to notice ADHD symptoms in themselves after their children were diagnosed. Regardless of the reason, seeking a diagnosis as an adult can be a bit more cumbersome than when you are a child. First, you will need to find a mental health professional who is experienced in diagnosing ADHD. They will likely ask you about your childhood, your current symptoms, and any challenges you have been experiencing in life. You may also need to undergo some cognitive testing to assess your attention span and executive functioning skills. Ultimately, getting a diagnosis of ADHD as an adult can help you to better understand yourself and give you the tools you need to overcome your symptoms and live a normal life.
d. As An Older Adult…
Many adults with ADHD may have never been diagnosed, either because they did not have symptoms as children or because they were never assessed by a professional. However, ADHD can often become more apparent in adulthood, when the demands of work and family life are greater. For many adults with ADHD, getting a diagnosis can be a relief. It can help to explain why they have struggled with certain tasks all their life, and it can provide access to treatment and support, transforming their lives even into old age.
8 Tips For Parents Of Children With ADHD
1. The Most Important Factor In Your Relationship With Your Child Is Communication
One of the most important things you can do as a parent is to keep the lines of communication open with your child. It is essential that you talk to your child about their ADHD, and explain how it may affect their behavior. It is also important that you listen to your child, and try to understand their perspective. Having ADHD as a child can be very frustrating for both children and parents, but open communication can help to ease some of the tension. By talking to your child about child ADHD, you can help them to feel more understood and supported.
2. ADHD Kids Tend To Make “Emotional Decisions” In The Moment…and Then Rationalize Them Later –
Children with ADHD are more likely than other children to make “emotional decisions” in the moment, without thinking about the long-term consequences. They may act on impulse, without considering the potential consequences of their actions. Afterward, they may rationalize their decision by convincing themselves that it was the right thing to do. This can lead to problems in school, at home, and in social situations. Children with ADHD may have difficulty controlling their emotions, which can make it difficult for them to make good decisions. It is important for parents and teachers to be patient and understanding with children with ADHD, and to help them learn to control their impulses and make good choices.
3. Listen To What Your ADHD Kid Has To Say
One important way to support your child with ADHD is to listen reflectively to what they have to say. This means really trying to understand their experience and feelings, rather than just responding with approval or criticism. When you listen reflectively, you provide a space for your child to open up and express themselves. This can help them to feel heard and understood, which is often one of the biggest challenges for children with ADHD. When you take the time to listen to your child, it can also help you to better understand their needs and how best to support them. So make sure to give your child the time and attention they need by listening reflectively to what they have to say.
4. Let Your Controller Guard Down With Your ADHD And Notice The Bond That Happens As A Result
One of the most important things you can do for your child with ADHD is to maintain open communication. When you let your controller down, it sends a message that you’re approachable and that your child can trust you with whatever they need to talk about. This fosters a strong bond between you and your child, which is essential for their development and well-being. Furthermore, letting your controller down will help your child feel more comfortable communicating with you about their ADHD. They may be hesitant to open up about their condition if they feel like you’re always on edge or that you’re not really listening. However, if they know that you’re approachable and understanding, they’ll be more likely to confide in you about their experiences. Ultimately, maintaining open communication with your child is one of the best ways to support their development and well-being.
5. It’s Futile To Argue With Your ADHD Kid
As the parent of a child with ADHD, you may have found yourself in some frustrating arguments. It can be difficult to reason with your child when they’re feeling overly emotional or impulsive. However, it’s important to remember that arguing with your child is usually futile. Instead of trying to win an argument, it’s better to focus on listening to your child and trying to understand their perspective. This can be a challenge, but it’s important to remember that your child is not deliberately trying to frustrate you. With patience and understanding, you can build a stronger relationship with your child and help them learn how to cope with their ADHD.
6. Walk A Mile In Your ADHD Kid’s Shoes
Every parent wants to better understand their child. When your child has ADHD, it can feel like you’re on a never-ending journey to figure them out. However, there is one simple way to gain valuable insights into your child’s world: perspective taking. This involves walking a mile in your child’s shoes, or in other words, trying to see the world through their eyes. This can be difficult to do, but it’s worth the effort. When you take the time to see the world from your child’s perspective, you’ll be able to better understand their thoughts, feelings, and behaviors. You’ll also be better equipped to respond in a way that meets their needs. So next time you’re feeling frustrated by your child’s ADHD, remember that perspective taking can help you see the world through their eyes and better understand what they’re going through.
7. Get Out Of Your Comfort Zone
It can be difficult to face the fact that your child has ADHD. You may feel like you failed them in some way or that you are not equipped to deal with their condition. However, it is important to remember that you are not alone. There are millions of other parents who are facing the same challenges as you. The most important thing you can do for your child is to learn as much as you can about their condition. Only by understanding ADHD can you hope to effectively manage it. This means getting out of your comfort zone and doing some research. Talk to other parents, read books and articles, and attend workshops and support groups. The more you know about ADHD, the better equipped you will be to help your child thrive.
8. Be Patient With Your Child With ADHD – It’s A Journey
As any parent of a child with ADHD knows, it can be a long and difficult journey. There are times when it feels like you will never see progress, and it can be tempting to give up. However, it is important to be patient and to keep fighting for your child. Every small step forward is a victory, and eventually, all of those steps will add up to big changes. Don’t give up on your child – they are worth the effort. Stick with it, and you will see the results of your hard work pay off